Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

So we launched a wrestling blog

November 1, 2011 Leave a comment

Playing Ricky Morton can be found at the link. We did promise you new ILB projects as the year came to its end, and that’s the first of them. Google reader that shit, link it, RT it, whatever the fuck. We promise the least autistic wrestling writing in recent history.

Categories: Uncategorized

Top 10 Deviantart drawings of Franck Ribery

October 16, 2011 1 comment

Admittedly, it’s weird. ILB is more popular than it has ever been, even though we’ve done maybe one post in two months. It’s thanks to the last post, the Dirty Bieber Secrets one. I did what I do in my day job and applied it to the world of internet bullshit. Just for giggles, really. And it gets 7,000 hits a day, even now, without me touching a thing. The kind of hits figures John Doran would finally get a haircut and hit a gym for, and I can get it without lifting a finger. God bless those Beliebers man.

But, that’s the thing, I’ve kinda abandoned you. I know, I know. Look, I still write. I still write fucking shitloads, it’s just that you people will never see it. My pen is, nowadays, trained on SEO’d summaries of Turkish golf courses and the like, so unless you fancy hitting the driving ranges of Izmir then I’m dead to you. But I feel guilty. People love Passantino, or “PLP” as the acronym goes. They want me back. They want me going “hey, I like this boom bap track from a New York mixtape rapper” or “I don’t like this woman writing in The Guardian, not because I’m a misogynist but for other, more complicated, reasons”. And, like, I gotta heed the streets. They want a return. So I’ll give to them like X. I’ll write the blog post you want. The blog post the internet wants. The blog post I was born to do. ILB proudly presents: top 10 Deviantart drawings of Franck Ribery. Read more…

Cripple With Swag – Vagina Ain’t Handicapped

June 5, 2011 5 comments

Do you ever wish you were on at the ground floor before a Youtube video got over 1 million views? Well, ILB’s going to give you the opportunity to do that today. I don’t get this. I can barely make it all the way through. But I’ll tell you one thing: I’d rather stick my dick in this than Kreayshawn any day of the week.

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The ten most important lines on “Goblin”

The wonderful thing about Odd Future is that they serve as a refreshing counterblast to the staid hip-hop landscape that we are currently enduring in hip-hop in 2010. One could easily argue that if B.O.B. and Wiz Khalifa are Pink Floyd or Emerson Lake and Palmer, then OFWGKTA are certainly the Sex Pistols in 76. And one wouldn’t have to stretch too far to picture Tyler The Creator as the John Lydon of the operation, its figurehead and its one true poet. After “Goblin” leaked earlier this week I knew there would really be no other way to pay tribute to this album, this man and this movement than by throwing out my ten favorite lines from it and explaining what they mean to me and to the future of rap. Read more…

John Doran and the art of staying losing

April 10, 2011 5 comments

My rapheads should probably hit the “x” in the top right-hand corner of their screen right now, or else go and check out Complex’s “TOP 50 SNEAKER MOMENTS IN THE VATICAN ENCLAVE OF 2005” instead as we’re going to spend the next 400 words chatting about indiefag matters.

For the rest of you, however…. Read more…

Wrestlemania XXVII quasi-liveblog a day late

April 4, 2011 4 comments

Bish Mi Allah Rak Mana Rahima! Hum Dillelah Iribel Al Amin! We gettin’ Caroline Cheese money! We gettin’ Guardian liveblog money! We gettin’ whichever interns they get to do the liveblogging on’s World Cup coverage money! (just refresh every minute or so, we have no idea how Liveblogging is meant to work)

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Categories: Uncategorized

Behold Hermione, Little Miss Poundbury

(video posted because 99.9% of you won’t understand the title)

22 days ago today. I’d visited my parents’ for lunch, was feeling kinda veal Milanese’d out, and rather than sit it off via watching yet another fuck-awful Palermo performance under Serse Cosmi, I thought I’d dick about on the internet for a bit instead. And while I was online, one of our connex sent us a link to this piece of mediocre Guardian idiocy and I thought, “Meh, nothing better to do, set phasers to ‘zing’”. The piece took us maybe 45 minutes, nothing more. Read more…