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10 Reasons Why Rap Doesn’t Suck

May 18, 2009 3 comments

Longtime readers of ILB will now be expecting me to say something like “And even after all that, he’s still more learn’ed a writer about rap music than Hattie Collins”, but recently I’ve started getting bare hits on this blog for just my name and then the names of random Guardian music hacks. So either a) you, the readers, are desperately trying to remember “Oh, what was that funny thing the fat Italian dude said about George Monbiot’s review of that Gigi D’Agostino gig or b) I’m actually about to be murdered and Farringdon’s hitsquad are just gathering of all the slurs committed against Louis Pattison’s name.  I am not going to die of natural causes, unlike Pimp C or Big Pun. Read more…

Heroes of IchLugeBullets #2: David Jones

April 16, 2009 5 comments

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Due to the wonderful job market for journalists right now, we’ve just shoved in two concurrent double shifts at work, so naturally our thoughts are still on the grind. My first ever job was procured for me by one of my friends at the time, who has since gone on to become heavily involved in white nationalism and deal cocaine to members of Northampton Town’s youth team. Good times. Anyway, the job, like so many other gigs for teenagers in the N-Town, was in a call centre. Cold calling through double-glazing sales. The job that literally had to be done.

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Heroes of IchLugeBullets #1: Claude Carpentieri

April 11, 2009 4 comments

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Long-time readers of IchLugeBullets will be more than familiar with a cheeky jovial chappy by the name of Claude Carpentiere. For the unitiated, get your schooling on and check out classic ILB posts like this and this. We kinda slacked on talking about Double C for a while though, after you’ve given someone a roasting not seen since the days Eli Porter put Envy on the grill, your interest in them tends to wain. Plus, as you recall, he was going to sue us via Facebook, and why on earth I deleted that message from my Facebook account, but kept all the ones from the chick who runs the Robert Crumb fangroup spam messaging its members her eBay listings, I have no fucking idea. Read more…