The best of Dirty Bieber Secrets
You gotta hand it to 15-year-old girls: they’ve got the Tumblr game on fucking lock. While American music writers use the platform to copy and paste pictures of A RAPPER standing next to AN INDIE MUSICIAN or sharing their fascinating opinions on patriarchal hegemony in the music of Brooks and Dunn, 15-year-old girls are out there dropping original content for days, sourcing the best memes and networking like motherfuckers.
How big is the forum ammo/gif folder on your PC? 300MB? 400MB? Like the old army adverts, don’t even apply. These girls have a gif for every single occasion, while you’re still holding your dick in your hand posting the same Citizen Kane clapping/Judge Judy pulling a funny face shit you’ve been doing for six months they’ve captured every single shrug, smile, tear and expression of shock from the past two seasons of “Glee” and “True Blood”. And they’re communicating in it.
Doesn’t it make you feel weak and emasculated to realize that everything a social media professional gets paid £30k a year for, some girl who probably still has to ask “so, wait, can I get pregnant if someone spooges in the hot tub?” does in her own free time? Without any concern? I gotta hand it to them
And you’ve gotta hand it to Dirty Bieber Secrets as well, the hit new Tumblr blog for said 15-year-old girls violent sexual fantasies about human meme and occasional pop star Justin “J-Biebs” Bieber. And we here at ILB are always happy to discuss and share content from the internet’s hottest resources, so without further ado, we here at ILB would like to present: Dirty Bieber Secrets greatest hits.
Of course, these could all be by gay paedophiles.