Home > I'm just saying, I'm not saying > How I learned to start worrying and love Media Take Out

How I learned to start worrying and love Media Take Out

There’s a tendency among journalists to toss the word “minstrelsy”, or at least  the misspelled “minstrelry”, at any rap album they don’t approve of. For instance here’s someone calling Gucci Mane a minstrel, here’s someone else tossing the accusation at Jay-Z, and here’s noted scholar on the taxonomy of racial integration Nick Cannon taking shots at assorted southern rappers for being minstrels (video contains the only decent beat Nas has been on since 2005).

It’s the rap critic’s very own black swan problem: minstrelsy is bad, these rappers are bad, thus these rappers are minstrels. There’s two main problems with this: firstly, it’s based on a flawed concept – many original minstrel shows were pretty savage in their portrayals of racism and white authority, nearly as biting as “Nick Cannon’s Wild N’ Out.” Second, it’s just fucking dumb. Like, really really fucking dumb. You’re equating “black people doing something I don’t like now” with “black people doing something I don’t like in the past” merely because they’re black. It’s like reviewing a shitty indie album by going “The Vaccines are certainly Cromwellians.”

Anyway, the list of rappers who have gotten through their entire career without having said anything dumb, illegal or offensive is pretty much limited to the guy from 1000 Clowns. So we should probably just ditch the concept as a whole.

What I never understood though is why it was always used to attack rappers, rather than attack the writer himself. Let me explain what I mean. I am obsessed with Media Take Out and its sister site World Star Hip Hop’s journalistic nous. A lot of us understand the language of gossip and celebrity sites, sections and blogs by now: being angry someone is thin, being angry someone is fat, being happy that someone who was once thin is now fat, being happy that someone who was once fat is now thin, lather, rinse, repeat, gay dude.

Media Take Out, on the other hand… here’s a few headlines from the past few days:

  • DIZAYUMMMMM!! Serena Williams Shows Up To The ESPYs Last Night . . . And She Is Now OFFICIALLY . . . One Of The Baddest In The Game!!!
  • WTF??? Kandi From The Atlanta Housewives Has A NEW CLOTHING LINE . . . Made Especially For BASIC CHICKS!!
  • MTO WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Nicki Minaj Claims Her Boyfriend BEAT HER . . . And You WON’T BELIEVE WHY!!! (UPDATED With POLICE REPORT)
  • WTF??? Comedian Adam Sandler Photo’d DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN!! (Pics)

 

 

 

Remember that this is an actual multi-million dollar operation with major advertising deals here, and not your cousin’s Bebo page. The landscape of Media Take Out is a strange and frightening place for those of us who expect our gossip websites to be run by anorexics, homosexuals and women who have someone lied enough to themselves to be convinced that they’re actually providing a service to the world. Whereas White People’s Gossip might have (checks 3AM Girls website) Imogen Thomas wears some clothes, Justin Bieber wears some clothes and Daisy Lowe gets baps out as major concerns, the world of Media Take Out manages to incorporate race-baiting, slavery, lynchings and “NEW AFRICA!!! Southern Sudan . . . A Country Of BLACK PEOPLE Officially Secedes From ARAB DOMINATED Northern Sudan!!” into its mix of “SERENA WILLIAMS HAS AN ASS” and “RIHANNA DOESN’T HAVE AN ASS BUT SHE GOT IT OUT ANYWAY.”

World Star Hip-Hop is even better. A video of two Kenyans being burned to death for stealing vegetables is captioned with “Very Sad! For Potatoes Really?”, which would be ILB’s new name if we launched today. And then there’s the meat and stolen potatoes of World Star, the fight videos. Right at this very moment I can watch 50 videos of black guys throwing down in any of America’s 49 states.         “3 On 1 Jumping A Kid In Sylvan Beach, NY: Bottle Smashed Over Head & Knocks Boy Out! (Instigator Of Fight Runs Away),” “Smack Of The Week: Latino Slaps The Shoe Off Buddy For Putting His Little Cousin To Fight!” and “Indiana Girl Was Literally Pissed The F*ck Off! (Pissed On Herself While She Was Fightin)” are just some of the treats available.

And I don’t know what I’m meant to do with this. Like, I like videos of people being knocked out, we all do. And WSHH/MTO is owned “by” blacks and presumably “for” blacks, so really there’s no degree of direct exploitation there. It’s just… the whole thing reminds me of when I asked an Asian bro of mine if it was ever acceptable for a white guy to use the term “desi.” His response: “It’s not racist, it just makes you look like a dickhead.” And I think that’s the problem here, I don’t think getting my kicks watching assorted weaves getting torn out, it doesn’t make me chief mod at chimpout.com, it just makes me look like a dickhead.

Anyway, paisan can get a WSHH upload just as sweet as any of my African-American brothers can.

Plus, y’know, racism in WSHH comment boxers is a lot funnier than it is in Daily Mail comments boxes just because of the sheer volume of it.

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