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Archive for June, 2011

Am I a Worse Person Than The Lisps Are a Band?

June 30, 2011 2 comments

Around 8pm last Saturday night I was given a photo of a low-end British female music/pop culture writer who has been mentioned on ILB previously. In it, she was “wearing” (to the extent that part of her body was covered by them) a red skirt and a white top, and between her legs was an, unknown, female party engaged in the fine art of cunnilingus. Read more…

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Wes Butters gettin’ his stalk on in the 2K11

June 29, 2011 1 comment

So, hey, man, I love that “Who’s viewed your profile” feature in LinkedIn. The best thing about it is that it doesn’t tell you precisely who has looked at your profile, it just gives you a field they work in and a company they’ve worked for. It’s like a logic problem for the Web 2.0 generation. Read more…

Mistah F.A.B. Explains Why Kreayshawn Isn’t A Racist: ILB Exclusive Interview

June 28, 2011 2 comments

Investigative journalism into the world of rap isn’t just for interns at Complex who’ve mastered the dark arts of typing Earl Sweartshirt’s real name into youropenbook.org before passing it off as a world exclusive. Those of us further down the journalistic food chain, who operate with just a basic WordPress default theme, aren’t afraid to wear out the shoe leather on some Woodward and Bernstein ish, digging behind the headlines to find out some startling revelations. Read more…

You don’t talk to your girlfriend, to your boyfriend, whoever: RIP Ryan Dunn

It’s kinda hard to pay respectful tribute to the life and works of a man who is most famous for shoving a Matchbox figurine up his jacksie, but I want to try anyway. Read more…

In which the Irish and the Somalis fail to shake hands

June 18, 2011 1 comment

I take back what I said the other day. Maybe there’s a more inherent beauty within Youtube clips of drunken town centre fights. I think World Star Hip Hop (where this video originates) and OnSmash have kinda gotten these videos twisted with their insistence on “CRAZIEST CRACKHEAD HOOD FIGHTS EVER!!!!” The true enjoyment in these videos is that they should resemble what you can see in a town centre on any given Friday night except without the minor danger that you some jobbing policemen is going to pester you to describe “what you saw, in as simple a manner as possible please”. Read more…

Wes Butters is a cunt: the re-up

June 18, 2011 3 comments

Editor’s note: Herein is a post first published by ILB in March 2010 that was taken down for various unspecified reasons. We feel the time has come to republish it. Please note that all words herein are exactly the same as written in March 2010 and have not been edited for the sake of journalistic integrity/innate laziness. Read more…

Youtube makeup tutorials are the final significant artform

June 14, 2011 2 comments

Like a lot of people, I process and store “shocking” statistics taken from surveys in my head, but I have no real idea of where that information came from. This is the lasting contribution of the Daily Mail to the collective psyche. In very much the same way that your grandmother will all of a sudden become wary of Sikhs because 1 in 5 newbuild houses are purchased by them, I know for a fact that obesity as increased 30% in Greece since McDonalds began installing franchises there. I just don’t know where I got that number from. Read more…