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Rainbow Noise > OFWGKTA

When Eminem was still relevant it was pretty common for music publications to run the same article every six months wondering aloud whether or not we’d ever see an openly gay rapper. I think the argument they were running with was “Who knows what would happen if you gave a gay rapper an absolutely amazing beat to work with, surely it’d be a hit?” Well I don’t have “Girl You Be Killin’ Em”’s chart positions to hand so I can’t answer that question. All I do know is I’ve not seen anyone mention Q-Boy, Caushun and the Deep Dickollective over and over again to fill up wordcount for a long time so: hey, journalists, bring back writing shitty articles about the four gay rappers out there.

In the meantime, is this actually any good? I’m not 100% sure. I mean, we all love mixed race girls who for some reason look Korean, but is that enough to carry a song? Inevitably enough the gay bro on this joint comes the weakest (it’s 2011, I checked WhoSampledWho and apparently still no producer has flipped the intro to Erasure’s “Always” as a beat?). The rest of them bring new meaning to the word “mixed bags”: Aela sounds like she could have been the third MC on any generic bounce posse cut circa 2006. Kickz appears to be tweaking. Hart looks like Mini Daddy. Jay Squared’s “howay mister, you want someone to watch your car for you while you to the shops?” get-up gets mad props over here.

I think it was Jay Squared that made me actually “like” this despite it clearly “not being very good” because I dunno if you remember the high-end humourlessness of the LGBT clique at your university, but I can’t imagine many of them approving of a punchline like “beat the pussy up, yeah call me Dyke Turner”, or the use of “rape” as a light-hearted verb. I mean before I listened to this I expected it to sound like Ani Di Franco with beats, or maybe the much/rightly maligned Northern State, rap music by people who have clearly never listened to any. But blow me down, homosexuals do actually stay cognizant with modern rap trends, to the extent that one of them even kicks a Drizzy-esque bar (“It’s going down, stairwell”) at one point. I mean, I doubt between them these puddle jumpers pimp broads as hard as Claire Balding does, but it’s a good start and they can probably swing themselves at least some “hmm… thought-provoking” coverage in The Guardian before the end of the year.

Also, the chick who kicks the hook at the end of this: that’s a trap, right?


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