The fake Brett Anderson Twitter account isn’t funny
One of the defining characteristics of music journalists is that they’re always up for some massed collective delusions, of the stripe that make the “victims” of the Mad Gasser of Mattoon look like Shipwreck Kelly when it comes to groupthink (it’s esoteric 1930s ephemera reference week on ILB, btw). In the past, music was still “popular”, so 10 or 15 hacks would get together and decide, say, that Lethal Bizzle “said something about disenfranchised youth” or that The Distillers “had absolutely fucking anything to do with anything ever”. However, in 2010 the music industry is “in the shitter”, so they have to talk up other stuff instead.
I have no idea where the “the fake Brett Anderson Twitter account is a work of comic genius” meme came from, but it needs to stop right now. The NME dedicated a whole fucking article to it, wherein Luke Lewis, a man so devoid of self-awareness he appears to have made his byline photo a picture from his gap year, “bigs up” the massively racist “English 50 Cent Twitter” (basic conceit: ebonics isn’t “proper English”, y’all need some underemployed future gagwriter for Jack Whitehall to translate it into the fackin’ Queens for you), before opining that “Twitter fakes are better than the real thing” (somehow missing out this entry-level classic of Twitter fraud), and then going on to have an “interview” with @reallybanderson.
Word Magazine or Uncut (not really enthused enough to Google to remind me) is also talking up a future “question and answer” session with a dude on the internet pretending to be Brett Anderson for the purposes of shits + giggles. And people do seem to be convinced that @reallybanderson is up there with @DianaInHeaven, @mikeashleynufc and @perpetua when it comes to hilarious parody Tweet streams. Why? No, really, why?
It’s not enough that “brett Anderson twitter” as a google search brings you about 700 pages of some American sports bro before you get to this content (really, when you become an internet meme you need to be getting on that SEO tip straight away), but there’s just no skill here, no wit, nothing. Just the kind of half-assed “Hey, remember Gene/Shed 7/Menswe@r lol they were shit” zings any pasty white dude on the internet (and, even as an olive-skinned bruv, I’ll throw my hands up in acceptance here) has made on a music message board over the past decade.
I mean, let’s take a look at some of these pearls of hilarity:
An alternate version of Can’t Get Enough exists titled Can’t Get a Ruff. It’s about my problematic passion for Elizabethan fashion
Having some shots taken for my 2011 official calendar. There really is something regal about being on horseback.
Some people say I’m Machiavellian. I’d say Machiavelli was BrettAndersonian #theprince
Don’t feel like you “went in” with these gags, internet man pretending to be Brett Anderson for the purpose of feeble hilarity. I mean, if I was pretending to be Brett Anderson, the first thing I’d do is email Simon Price and go “You dress like a fucking retard and everyone who went to your old clubnight was a very damaged individual who should be sectioned”.
Anyway, not really an amazing post but it’s kinda saved by this photo of the dude who runs the fake Brett Anderson twitter:
I know, right? Looks like a fucking Electronics Boutique employee circa 1999 with an Agent Scully haircut.