Home > Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003 > Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003: Part 5 – “Now show ’em them titties”

Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003: Part 5 – “Now show ’em them titties”

10. Linkin Park – One Step Closer (2000)

As a commercial concern, the last band standing on this list. Indeed, thanks to the presence of Mike Shinoda, Linkin Park are technically the third biggest selling “rap” outfit of all time (fourth if you believe Mel B’s contributions to the Spice Girls qualifies them). The internets claim that Linkin Park finished every concert they played for the first eight years of their existence with this track and why not? It’s  nu-metal in 2:36 encapsulated: turntable grooves, allusions to breaking stuff, self-pitying lyrics, and a quiet loud quiet structure where everything is exactly the same volume.

9. Jimmy Eat World – Bleed American (2001)

Not gonna front: I didn’t own a copy of this album with its original, pre-9/11 title because I waited until my student grant had come in before purchasing. Even so, was there really a need for the censorship? Did that many people bleed at Ground Zero? You’d have thought that most of them were just crushed to death. The song that meant emo would never be the same again: within five minutes of this being first played on radio, nobody could remember who Moss Icon were, and off licences nationwide were plundered as people discovered that Speyside was a type of whiskey and not an anti-depressant.

8. Papa Roach – Last Resort (2000)

For a reminder of how big this track was back in the day, there’s an episode of Cribs where Papa Roach’s original drummer, Dave Buckner, takes you around his massive fuck off mansion. Now, being as I can’t remember how any other Papa Roach song goes, and also that dude was apparently fighting a large-scale drug addiction throughout PR’s “heyday”… they must have made a shit tonne of money off that one track and it’s respective album for the drummer to be able to buy a full-scale mansion in between injecting into his Jap’s eye. My favourite part of “Last Resort” was always the bit where Jacoby Shaddix rhymes “bleeding” with “bleeding”.

7. At The Drive-In – One Armed Scissor (2000)

Great white hope morelike great shite hope. Nah, they were OK. Plus I think only one of them was white, anyway. The last band that the NME threw its full weight behind before Rock Came Back, and also the only time NME and Kerrang really agreed on anything during the nu-metal era, the former being so keen to distance itself from large shorts and represent REAL ROCK that they did dumb shit like put Amen on the cover. Some people have fond memories of ATDI’s appearance on Jools Holland wherein they blew Robbie Williams off stage, but I’ll always cherish the recollection of the time one of them stood in front of me at a Belle and Sebastian gig in 2001. The one that looks like Afroken.

6. System of a Down – Chop Suey (2001)

One of the big connections between many of the songs on this list is that they all got gassed from the radio in the aftermath of Clearchannel’s notorious post-9/11 censorship spree, but apparently it was due to the fact that “Chop Suey” was #1 on the modern rock charts at the time that Clearchannel felt the need to draw a list up in the first place. As we’ve previously mentioned on ILB, Britain didn’t need to change its radio after the WTC attacks, and instead sent “Hey Baby” by DJ Otzi to #1 the week afterwards. And having sat through that history lesson, you can now be rewarded by Avril Lavigne’s Cornholio channelling cover of this song.

5. Alien Ant Farm – Smooth Criminal (2001)

In 2003, Alien Ant Farm entered a float in the West Hollywood Gay Pride Parade. The float was designed in the image of a gigantic ant (replete with antennae and mandibles), and the band performed their then-single, “These Days”, on it. “We just thought it would be funny to go down the parade on a float, appreciating diversity and jamming on our instruments” said guitarist Terry Corso. “It was wonderful. We didn’t belong there, but a couple of biker boys on the street, in full Rob Halford gear, threw me the metal horns”.

4. Queens of the Stone Age – Feel Good Hit of the Summer (2000)

Aka “The Ballad of Paul Merson”. Nobody’s come up with a good priest and a rabbi joke in thirty years, and it’s been nearly as long since anyone wrote a decent new list song. I don’t even think this counts, the list has, like, seven items in, not so much a list song as a rhythm to help you remember that order you’ve been given by your flatmates next time you walk down to the chippy. Marking his unexpected appearance in concurrent blurbs here in our countdown, Rob Halford provides backing vocals on this track. You’ve have thought QOTSA would have tossed him a bone and added amyl nitrate to the lyrics, but maybe they’re homophobes.

3. Bloodhound Gang – The Ballad of Chasey Lain (2000)

Can we all just be men here and admit that, on balance, “Hooray for Boobies” may be the greatest album ever recorded? Old media dude Robert Christgau started off the 2000s by giving this album the lowest grade possible, and I doubt it’s a coincidence that the following ten years for him were a slow and gradual process of everywhere he works for either firing him or being closed down for irrelevance. One of the main reasons this used to get played ahead of “The Bad Touch” at the club was in the belief that cute rock chicks might start playfully simulating fellatio on the dance floor. To my knowledge, this never happened, but maybe you know differently. Polaroids to the usual email address.

2. Limp Bizkit – Faith (1998)

The releases between “Faith” and “My Way” are as good a run of singles as any American rock band has ever put together. Are we finally in the period of Limp Bizkit critical reappraisal? And I mean proper reappraisal, not just damning them with the faint praise of “but Wes Borland’s actually a really good guitarist!”. Why were they so hated anyway? I mean, even that red hat got a rap from those critics. “Faith” is before Britney and MI:2 and the comfort eating though. See how young and hungry they were there. Laugh at how Fred changes the lyrics to “not everybody can have a body like me”. Never really felt their cover of “Behind Blue Eyes”, though.

1. Save Ferris – Come On Eileen (1997)

Come on, could the winner really have been any other song? Every now and then I’ll spot a modern day teenager rocker a t-shirt with the inscription “SAVE FERRIS” on it and I like to pretend that they’re actually paying tribute to this finest of awful bands, rather than some movie from the 80s with a paedo in it. Save Ferris’s big commercial hook back in the day was the alleged resemblance between their lead singer and Gillian Anderson, who back that was blowing up in The X-Files and didn’t yet resemble a divorced English teacher. It was an odd commercial strategy being as a) actual Gillian Anderson herself had released a single, “Extremis”, which went wood in the hood and b) she really didn’t look that much like her. Indie heads out there probably expect me to end this review by referencing the fact that Pitchfork gave the album this was on, “It Means Everything”, 9.5/10, with the review claiming to have orgasmed as a result of this cover, in a review that has since been deleted from their website. For some reason. But this ain’t the time for indie zings. No, this is the time to throw your record bag that you keep your schoolbooks in to one side, paint your fingernails black with magic marker as your parents won’t let you buy varnish, straighten your wallet chain, and perform dance moves that involve you shaking your lank, shoulder length hair as much as possible. Man, I miss those days.

Advertisements
  1. July 24, 2010 at 1:58 am

    This was a real educational eye opener, I think I only knew 3 songs out of the 50.

    To be fair I grew up in a inner city state school and spent most of my teenage years listening to Jin Tha MC and kicking footballs at moshers for having black pentagram wristbands.

    I feel bad for behaving like a 80’s teen flick jock villain, I never knew y’all were choosing this listen to music like this.

  2. July 24, 2010 at 3:37 am

    This list is f*cking epic.

  3. MF
    July 24, 2010 at 8:49 am

    A Limp Bizkit reappraisal is definately needed because Break Stuff is the heir to the throne of Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies and better than the combined careers of Pavement and Radiohead.

    I swear that chick with glasses in the still shot on the Papa Roach video is the exact same Joseph Gordon-Levitt looking bint from the Sum41 video.

    The only song missing from this list is the Hole one which goes “when I wake up with my make-up” or whatever. That shit was omnipresent during my crap provincial rock club going years of ’97 – ’01.

  4. July 24, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    mad props ich, that is all.

  5. markers
    July 24, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    “Freak on a Leash” was robbed. 😦

  6. dj
    July 27, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    Awesome set of posts.

    Terribel memories of Indie night at Timepiece in Exeter are flooding back.

    I’d third the Limp Bizkit thing: Chocolate Starfish And … was a fucking awesome album. There’s only forty two fucks in this whole fucking song et al. The Stone Cold, Rock, My Way promo video from WM X7 is perhaps the popular cultural highpoint from the entire decade, or does that make me sound like a complete prick?

  7. jordan s
    August 7, 2010 at 9:25 am

    bangers, all of them

    • Dom Passantino
      August 7, 2010 at 9:26 am

      And yet no ILM poll on it. Sort it out, ksh.

  8. E
    September 7, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    1999-2003? This is pretty much the current playlist of a rock night in my city. Shit’s like going back in time.

  9. Owlyross
    October 4, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    This is like the list of songs that my mates and I left the dancefloor for. Brilliantly shite!

  10. Conrad
    October 13, 2010 at 9:07 am

    how’s the follow-up going?

  1. July 24, 2010 at 12:24 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: