Home > Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003 > Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003: Part 4 – “Negative outlook? Well that’s how I’m living”

Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003: Part 4 – “Negative outlook? Well that’s how I’m living”

20. Slipknot – Wait and Bleed (1999)

The only worthwhile thing that Slipknot inspired was that one Viz strip where they went back in time and stopped Queen Victoria from beating up an orphan boy by putting on an impromptu performance of “People = Shit”. Slipknot frontman Corey Pavin famously carried a dead crow in a jar with him while on tour, and would sniff the rotten roadkill before each gig. The cadaver achieved fame among Slipknot fans, but how do we know it was the same bird all along, and they didn’t pull a Blue Peter pet on us and change it without anyone knowing? Also, did anyone do the “dead bassist in a jar” gags when Paul Gray carked it or not? Just wanna know if we can do them here.

19. Goldfinger – 99 Red Balloons (2000)

During a VH1 fundraising event for victims of Hurricane Katrina one man pledged $35,000 if VH1 Classic would play nothing but Nena’s “99 Red Balloons” for a solid hour. They played the German version, they played the English language version… and Goldfinger still can’t get no shine. Is this because VH1 Classic, like everyone else ever, had been conflating them and Powderfinger into one band in their minds for the past decade? Still, a wacky 80s cover version. That’s certainly a first for this list.

18. Rammstein – Du Hast (1997)

Rammstein landing in the UK was hilarious, leading to the NME and Q both having packed letters pages about how they were evil Neo-Nazis who had songs about sexually subjectifying black women (for more “enlightening” commentary on Rammstein and race, Stormfront has you covered). Indeed, at my school, Rammstein took over Marilyn Manson’s mantle as the band you could make up any stories about their live performances, discussions of inter-band onstage anal sex and puppies being ripped to shreds in the crowd being de rigeur. Of course, now we know they’re a bunch of boring fuck swimming coaches, but it was fun while it lasted.

17. Deftones – My Own Summer (1998)

Remember that one video where Chino Moreno, despite his weight and facial hair, portrayed a schoolboy, like some kinda gay bear interpretation of Never Been Kissed? Deftones might be the most important band with regards to the creation of this list, being the guys who managed to first segue from stoner rock to nu-metal and bringing in a thousand year reich of wallet chains. Originally Deftones bassist Chi Cheng is currently a vegetable after a car accident and has been replaced, for live shows, by Sergio Vega. Man, first he steps in for Shawn Michaels at No Way Out 1998 and now this? Little wrestling joke for you there.

16. Andrew WK – Party Hard (2001)

Andrew WK has settled in comfortably for the role of the first ironic “hey, you remember the early 2000s, right?” celebrity, and will presumably keep that position until someone finds out what Ahmed from Big Brother 4 is up to these days. It’s an odd career path though for a man who was, after all, one of the biggest commercial bombs of the decade to date, up there with Fischerspooner and The Others. How record labels in 2001 ever decided that this was the thing that needed pushing hard to every magazine out there and paid placement in WH Smiths and Woolworths (ask your grandparents), I don’t know. Like I said the other day, Liam Lynch realised that there was no need to stretch one joke into a career and fucked off, I’m not sure why AWK thought otherwise. Also, being as I suffered from chronic nosebleeds as a kid, I found his promotional shots highly offensive.

15. Transplants – Diamonds and Guns (2002)

From that, thankfully brief, period where Tim Armstrong was styling himself as the white Pharrell and resultantly sticking a finger in every pie (Skye Sweetnam, where you at? Oh wait I don’t care). “Diamonds and Guns” may somehow be even dumber than the average rapcore track, and also known better nowadays for its use in a shampoo commercial, but fuck it, I love this joint: boots on gravel is a dope intro and who can’t raise a smile at the bit where he pronounces “Karl Malone” as “karma loan”? Hey, maybe that Expensive Taste album will finally drop in 2010! It’s like the “Detox” of nobody giving a shit.

14. Less Than Jake – All My Best Friends Are Metalheads (2000)

One of the biggest curiosities to come out of compiling this list was that our #14, “All My Best Friends Are Metalheads”, and our #41, “Flavor of the Weak” by American Hi-Fi, have music videos that are parodies of exactly the same scene in exactly the same obscure 80s documentary, “Heavy Metal Parking Lot”. One presumes that it’d just come out on VHS at the time, in the same way that in the year after a new comp would come out on Soul Jazz, British rap producers would make up to 300 beats based around samples of every track on it. This actually featured in Melody Maker’s “Singles of the Year” list for 2000. They were truly different times.

13. Disturbed – Down with the Sickness (1999)

“AHHHHWWWWW-WAHHHHHKKKKAKKKAKKA”. Your man from Papa Roach may have been molested repeatedly as a kid, but it was Disturbed who made the tragic consequences of kiddy fiddling moshable. The album this was on, “The Sickness”, only made #29 in America, but Disturbed last three albums have all gone to #1. Try making that point next time you’re involved in some popist discourse. Disturbed are, I believe, the highest ranked band on here to have a Jewish lead singer, so shout out to God’s chosen people on that one.

12. Blink 182 – All The Small Things (2000)

As ILB writes this, the modern-day mosher internet (MMI) is currently blowing up over the fact that Jedward’s next release will be a cover of this, which is good, as Leonard Cohen fans seemed to resolutely refuse to get trolled by Alexandra Burke. “All The Small Things” was, weirdly, the second single taken from “Enema of the State”, the band preferring to lead with the “lol homo” stylings of “What’s My Age Again?” If this was meant to be a “street single for the heads followed by the radio joint” strategy, then they might have wanted to avoid the video for ATST, which was glossier than Divine’s nutsack. Also, on “Enema of the State”, “All The Small Things” directly follows the suicide paean “Adam’s Song”, which famously convinced a Columbine survivor to kill himself. Hoppus and Delonge were basically the original odd couple, huh? How did those two dudes not get themselves a sitcom?

11. Marilyn Manson – The Beautiful People

You wanna know what happens when I write about this guy? This. I’m not putting up with that ballache again, and being as Youtube doesn’t have Lester Bowie’s cover of “The Beautiful People, you can have this instead:

  1. Conrad
    July 23, 2010 at 1:34 am

    “How did those two dudes not get themselves a sitcom?”

  2. July 23, 2010 at 1:59 am

    Every song on this list deserves to be higher, except for the ones I’ve never heard of.

    I never understood why the “Du Hast” video was supposed to be inspired by Reservoir Dogs. Aside from both taking place in a warehouse-type buildings and tangentially involving gasoline, the connection is lost on me.

  3. MF
    July 23, 2010 at 8:44 am

    Savio/Sergio Vega joke ftw.

    Man, I can remember dancing on a table to the KoRN & Chino from The Deftones’ cover of Wicked once. The selling point of shitty rock clubs was that the girls were easy and there was no dresscode, but the music was so terrible that you devoured even the vaguest of bone tossed to you by the in-house dj.

  1. July 24, 2010 at 12:24 am

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