ILB Presents: Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003
We need to talk about Krissi Murison. Again. (Word to Celph Titled: “I got a thing for female journalists, I like the bitch type”). When Ms Murison made it to the top of the very very short greasy pole that is the NME, a lot of the hagiographies written for her made mention of her having a “grunge” period as a teenager. This confused me.
I’m the same age as KRISS-1. Kurt Cobain bodied himself when we were both 11, and the idea that people were stunting around British town centres in, idk, Gruntruck hoodies in the latter half of the 90s is, frankly, ridiculous. Murison never had a grunge period. She was a mosher.
Moshers are the most overlooked of the British subcultures, ne’er mentioned in the press unless they’re bottling indie fags like Lethal B off at Download or murdering Jodi Jones. They never get to write about whose hot with them in the broadsheets, and their sexual mores, consisting mainly of 14-year-old girls having neckbearded 29-year-old boyfriends, for some reason tend not to find wider favour. We’re here to change that.
Which is why, over the next week, ILB will be counting down the Top 50 Songs Reminiscent of A Night In A Shitty Provincial Rock Club Between 1999 and 2003. Yep, top up your snakebite, put on some four-feet tall platforms, let everyone know that you’re doing a deferred placement on your art course this year, and listen to some of the worst music ever to have found an audience in British musical history.
Of course, it’s just a top 50, and ranked mainly by how badly these songs sum up the feeling of being in a club called something that ends in “Underground” “Chamber” or “Basement”, so some bands were missed out. If you were hoping for Ill Nino, Skindred, My Ruin, Amen, InMe, Kottonmouth Kings, Raging Speedhorn, Devin Townsend, Sugarcoma, whatever Tommy Lee’s rapcore project was called, or Hot fucking Action fucking Cop fuck, then not today folks. However for the list itself… click on.