Home > Fuck all y'all > You’re a Richman, and you’ve gone too far, ‘cuz you know it don’t matter anyway

You’re a Richman, and you’ve gone too far, ‘cuz you know it don’t matter anyway

On the real, the picture for this post was originally going to be your man with the moustache who used to host Channel 4’s “Right to Reply”, but the only pictures of him online from the time are far too small, and the only pictures of him from nowadays show a man who looks entirely different, to the extent I think there might actually be two different Roger Boltons and IMDB is just being a dick. So enjoy looking at this awful Sims 2 Twilight pack instead.

Anyway, the reason for all this? Well, certain Independent journalists started bleeding from the crotch this week after vanity googling themselves and coming across this blog, specifically Simmy Richman and our piece on his “love” of “country” “music“. Richman has since gone on to compare Dan Le Sac and Scroobius Pip to Gil Scott-Heron in a review.

But! ILB has always insisted on the right to reply, so here, unabridged, is our correspondence on the matter:

From: Simmy Richman

To: IchLugeBullets

Time: 9:29, March 17

I can overlook the inaccuracies:

1. I don’t ever say that the route to country enlightenment starts with Elvis Costello, in fact Almost Blue left me cold…
2. The phrase “His purpose was to sell country music to people who would otherwise never listen to it”? is a quote from Hank Wangford you wrongly attribute to me…
3. I never mention Lyle Lovett, so your “don’t talk to me about…” line is somewhat redundant…
4. I do, though you’d never know it from reading your post, mention the Carter Family, Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, Hank Williams and George Jones…

Like I say, I can overlook all of that, but how dare you accuse me of not liking country music just because I like different stuff to you. You are entitled to your taste and I am entitled to mine and it really is the laziness writing in the world to just point that single boring fact out. Ooh, look at the music he likes… What a wanker. Grow up.

Truth is, you write a blog that I was only made aware of by my Google alert, no one seems to read or comment on, and your jealousy for people who get paid to write about the things they love shines through every bitter sentence you write.

Good luck with that.

The fact is I told my story and, judging by the 250 or so comments, emails and blog posts it received (all positive, bar one), it touched a nerve.

“There’s probably a good article to be written about the relationship between Britain and country music” you say?
Wouldn’t it be better to write it than to spend your energy going Jesus Christ look at this shitty hack? Or were you looking in the mirror at the time?

From: IchLugeBullets

To: Simmy Richman

Time: 10:17, March 19

u mad, doggie

Does Mr Richman even know that legendary Radio 1 DJ Wes Butters is a frequent reader of this blog? I certainly doubt it.

Anyway, let’s all just sit back and enjoy Simmy Richman’s former life as drummer for dropped-after-one-single major label janglepop cash-in finochi The Sensible Jerseys:

A band I was unaware of until they popped into my Google search results page with last.fm and Youtube pages that no one seems to read or comment on.

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  1. Cashmore
    March 21, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    I am going to have “u mad, doggie” tattooed on my left moob.

  1. March 21, 2011 at 10:34 pm

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