The disinterested ILB end of year rundown: #7 3OH!3 – Don’t Trust Me
Originally, we were going to have our number seven as “STARSTRUKK”. I think that song is more interesting to talk about, especially if you consider it like… you know when you see photos of your town centre that were taken in the 1910s and 1920s? And you sort of spend five minutes staring at it trying to work your bearings out and going “So if that’s where Gamestation is nowadays, then that butchers would be where Reflex: The 80s Bar is now?” Enough time has passed to make what is literally exactly the same place hard to identify. I think that “STARSTRUKK” is your high street and “Whistle While You Twurk” is the photo of it from 1912 with the open-top busride for the county cricket team riding down it.
Anyway, it would have been 7, only originally #6 was going to be “Waking Up In Vegas”, so we decided we couldn’t, in all faith, have two Katy Perry songs to sum up this entire year, so we changed this to “Don’t Trust Me”. Then we realised we’d actually counted wrong and we’d put 21 songs in our top 20. So we killed KP off on the basis that it was, I suppose, an album track from 2008.
You know that four-year-old kid who got shot by her father a few days back? Tragic and all, but one of the family friends was quoted in the papers as saying something to the effect of “She was such a bright and energetic child, always singing along to Katy Perry” songs in the car. How is that remotely healthy?
Anyway, 3OH!3 are probably my favourite chart proposition right now, being as they consist of two men who look like contestants from The Pick-Up Artist (the long-haired one in particular is one of the most horrific things to look at in a chart act since “Bridging The Gap” era Taboo) who have decided that redemption lies in channelling Europop into modern rock music.
The point I suppose 3OH!3 make is that the ILB-snark thesis on crunk, that it was just nu-metal with better branding, has been proven right (seriously, if, idk, the dude from POD was black people would have been talking about how “Youth of the Nation” should have been the future of rap circa 2002). Also, 3OH!3 are at least happy to be properly misogynistic on a track, something that mainstream rock has been sadly missing since Brandon Urie retreated into filing his Britpop MP3 folders full-time and mainstream rap has been missing since… far too long. Seriously, Kid Cudi is on the remix of this. How are you gonna have a track where the finnoch emo bois are the ho-slappers and the rapper is the bitchmade, breakfast-buying one?