ILB: The year in comments
Word to Down The Line’s Early D, you people need to big yourself up dread. I may be the sole decent blogger left in music journalism these days, but I’d be zero without the people who get me up to that 700-hit-a-day level, you, the readers. And sometimes you don’t just fuck off elsewhere after reading my blog to see if Bol’s posted some Youtube clips of fat girls today, you actually post comments. I’m showing some love here, and trying to disguise the fact that this blog really has gone to the dogs recently, by celebrating some the comments that made ILB’s 2009. If you’re listed, kudos. If not, idk, maybe post to comments on Dutty Artz for a bit instead until you’re ready to move up to the big leagues.
John Vickers January 2nd
John Vickers was the friend of Claude Carpentieri who tried to file legal suit against ILB over Facebook. ILB will, obviously, be marking the year of him promising to sue us with some sort of blog shindig, possibly a comment box flashmob where we all discuss our favourite Tom Zenk matches over at Claude’s internet chat hole (which currently contains him arguing that Shaun of the Dead is one of the best British movies of all time).
Vanderhorne, January 4th
Id love for you to attend a “Lucha Britannia” show & allow you the opportunity to retract your ill informed comment.
If were so bad, then why do the authentic, most revered stars of Mexican wrestling such as El Hijo del Santo, Blue Demon & Cassandro et al come to us twice a year for assistance with their “Lucha Libre London” shows? And then why do they also perform for Lucha VaVoom?
Intelligent reply will be treated with respect, otherwise your journalistic days are over.
We did actually write a lengthy response to this pleather-rocking crepe, but for some reason he didn’t respond. Presumably my journalistic days are now over (although the response did get a “real heads know the score” reply from a dominatrix so idk). Basically, Vanny, if you ain’t Les Kellett or trying to be Les Kellett, get tae fuck out of my Brit-wres scene.
brooklyn, January 29th
THIS BLOGS SUCKS
IF I KNEW WHO YOU WERE I WOULD FUCK U UP JUST FOR USING THE NIGGER COOMENT
TO BAD YOUR BLOG DOESNT GET THAT MUCH REVIEWS. and only got 5 comments hahahahahhahah
AND THE MIXTAPE GOT 10,000 DOWNLOADS IN 3 DAYS
WHERE BROOKLYN AT? WHERE BROOKLYN AT? WHERE BROOKLYN AT? Oh, wait, he’s posting comments to my blog. Remember the term “soft-serve rap”? Man, that shoulda taken off, if only on account of the number of times I used it in that Theo London review. Still, Theo’s mixtape did get 10,000 downloads in three days, and his career has been pretty much unstopabble since then, so boy do I feel silly. Much love to Pistol Pete Cashmore and Queen of this Blogging Ish Biche (who really should either update her blog or holla at your boy irl asap) for having my back in that box.
Sarah, February 2nd
OG friend of ILB favourite reference point “my fat crazy ex” turns up on ILB, tries to start beef, goes nowhere. Shame. Check out her make-up and stickers and ponies and Myspace.com blog here.
Rrrr, February 20th
The Word’s blog is one of the worst things on the whole internet. It seems to be wholly populated by the type of person who repeatedly sends hilarious emails to radio shows pointing out the shortcomings of the lyrics to Thin Lizzy’s ‘Jailbreak’.
The recent thread ‘I hate to admit this but…….’ is pretty jawdropping.
This just made me laugh a lot more than anything else on this blog this year, and the fact that Rrrr was a one-time poster is a near-tragedy. Plus “Jailbreak” bangs hard.
Toadfish “Toadie” Rebecchi, March 5th
Biche, March 7th
Would just like to point out that my earlier comments about Biche needing to holler at me aren’t tied into this comment. Much.
p silly, April 14th
i know nothing about, say, the technical part of music and rapping and whatnot. all i know is what appeals to me. my general music i listen to is folky, country stuff with the occasional poppy, electronic thing (mgmt “time to pretend” is one of my all time favorite songs). i had a sort of “hipster” mentality thing going on for awhile, but i’ve deserted that, so my music ranges from being woefully obscure to incredibly mainstream.
and i love theophilus london. i normally don’t listen to “rap” or “hip hop” or whatever the genre is, but i can’t stop listening to his music. it’s like taking a long drink of water after being horrendously thirsty. it’s so wonderful, catchy, and dances into my ear.
As that dude from The New Radicals sorta said, maybe you’ve been trolled too? Except Pricilla Ann Cox is apparently a real person, check for her parenting blog here. New rule: you can have opinions about music if you like Skins, you can have opinions about music if you have a kid, but if both apply? Then you’re basically a savage.
Maria Smedstad, April 28th
When I started this blog, someone called me a British Byron Crawford. By April 2009, I was the UK Carles. I’ll be reduced to being “the Anglo-dude in charge of rewording Pitchfork news articles at Stereogum” by the end of 2010.
MF, May 15th
If MF/Brian Beck from Winsconsin/Martorialist’s blog gets less hits than mine, its a fucking tragedy. Go there asap, he’s funnier than me. Burlesque continues to get more loathsome, ILB currently has its sights set on kniferape for Frisky and Mannish. It’s like the Beatbox Saboteurs or John Thomson playing Prince songs on the ukelele never happened.
Kat Lister, June 26th
To pay homage to his dignity by throwing out undignified comments – to someone you have never met might I add – wishing a tumour on them?
Is that your idea of insightful journalism, Dom Passantino?
What a disgusting comment to make.
Well, you can’t spell “Kat Lister” without “Ska Litter” or “Teal skirt”, can you now? When Swells died, I think a lot of people were all “Look at Dom, he’s paying tribute to the fallen soldier by being shocking and outraging on his blog as Stevie would have wanted”. When, in fact, I was just getting cheap laughs out of mocking a dude’s death. Still, I rescreened both series of This Morning With Richard Not Judy recently, and it became pretty clear that the Gary Putner character was based on Wells so, Kitty, with all dearest respect, “you’re ‘avin’ a laugh, intchya?”
F, July 14th
Wes Butters interviewed the post-2000 overdrive pedal/descended testes version of Hanson in ’05, started talking about MnMs being on their rider and then tried to pun this into “MnMnMmmBop”, to embarrassed silence
I’m just saying
masterjonathanf, July 27th
Yeah, right. Here’s another picture of Jonny:
What the hell look even is that? Homeless NWOBHM mystic? Navajo cancer support group leader? The Harris Brother that their parents locked in the attic while the other two went on to become the most mediocre wrestling tagteam of the late 90s? mjf has apparently forgotten to file suit so far, presumably he and Claude will be running a legal train on me within the month.
PM, August 25th
Not to get all lame and fanboyish on you here, but reading Phillip Mylnar’s writings was the thing that made me decide I wanted to be a music hack with my life, and him posting a comment on this blog was one of the proper fanboy markout moments of this year. Back to your regularly scheduled zinging now.
Zona Bob, October 4th
Rather obvious from your comments you know so little about Raymond Edward ‘Gilbert’ O’Sullivan – including the fact he had nearly 50 fights in the ring as an amateur boxer (how good do you have to be to get almost 50 contenders? http://www.gilbertosullivan.net/in_print/biography3.htm).
The man – a multi-millionaire, times-over – has continued to produce nearly a song-a-day, to date, for over FORTY YEARS (how many diatribes have you produced in that time-frame?). He’s recently – March, 2009 – been in Nashville, USA, writing and producing songs he’s conceived and written for an up-coming album .
…are you still with me?
Here’s the deal: get your s**t together before vomiting in the toilet about artists you haven’t an inkling about, or be flushed out of this column.
Do just a smidgeon of research…
~Bob Shank Jr.
Tucson, Arizona, USA
THIS WAS FROM A POST THAT WAS ME TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LIKE GILBERT O’SULLIVAN. I dread to think what GOS’s stream team do to people who cross him, presumably Biz Markie had to go witness protection for a few years back in the early 90s.
michelle of the grey, October 13th
i have no fucking idea who you are, but given that how i randomly stumbled upon you because i was checking the correct Umlaut spelling of dropping a mad 80s reference, i found you. with the same reference. oh how we know to lie with german bullets.
and i’m pretty damned convinced there’s a reason for it.
maybe it’s all the hallucinogens typing.
our love is god & we are glass,
–more glorious dawn.
I know what you’re thinking: I shoulda put a ring on that.
Will, November 18th
Yeah, James McMahon is a fat fuck who can’t write. Anyway, side note. See this message here? It was sent from 220.127.116.11. I’m sure you’re fascinated, huh? The same IP left another reference to the NME being shit under the name Dick Whitman here. But then… both of Kat Lister’s posts to this blog have been from that IP address. As is a poster by this man to a Roger Whittaker fan message board. Either a) Kat Lister has MPD or b) Kat Lister works with someone who thinks the dudes she freelances for are a bunch of tards. One for pondering on another day, says I…