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ILB: The year in comments

Word to Down The Line’s Early D, you people need to big yourself up dread. I may be the sole decent blogger left in music journalism these days, but I’d be zero without the people who get me up to that 700-hit-a-day level, you, the readers. And sometimes you don’t just fuck off elsewhere after reading my blog to see if Bol’s posted some Youtube clips of fat girls today, you actually post comments. I’m showing some love here, and trying to disguise the fact that this blog really has gone to the dogs recently, by celebrating some the comments that made ILB’s 2009. If you’re listed, kudos. If not, idk, maybe post to comments on Dutty Artz for a bit instead until you’re ready to move up to the big leagues.

John Vickers January 2nd

I’m starting to believe you have serious, serious problems.

John Vickers was the friend of Claude Carpentieri who tried to file legal suit against ILB over Facebook. ILB will, obviously, be marking the year of him promising to sue us with some sort of blog shindig, possibly a comment box flashmob where we all discuss our favourite Tom Zenk matches over at Claude’s internet chat hole (which currently contains him arguing that Shaun of the Dead is one of the best British movies of all time).

Vanderhorne, January 4th

Id love for you to attend a “Lucha Britannia” show & allow you the opportunity to retract your ill informed comment.
If were so bad, then why do the authentic, most revered stars of Mexican wrestling such as El Hijo del Santo, Blue Demon & Cassandro et al come to us twice a year for assistance with their “Lucha Libre London” shows? And then why do they also perform for Lucha VaVoom?
Intelligent reply will be treated with respect, otherwise your journalistic days are over.

We did actually write a lengthy response to this pleather-rocking crepe, but for some reason he didn’t respond. Presumably my journalistic days are now over (although the response did get a “real heads know the score” reply from a dominatrix so idk). Basically, Vanny, if you ain’t Les Kellett or trying to be Les Kellett, get tae fuck out of my Brit-wres scene.

brooklyn, January 29th

TO BAD YOUR BLOG DOESNT GET THAT MUCH REVIEWS. and only got 5 comments hahahahahhahah

mr bullets

WHERE BROOKLYN AT? WHERE BROOKLYN AT? WHERE BROOKLYN AT? Oh, wait, he’s posting comments to my blog. Remember the term “soft-serve rap”? Man, that shoulda taken off, if only on account of the number of times I used it in that Theo London review. Still, Theo’s mixtape did get 10,000 downloads in three days, and his career has been pretty much unstopabble since then, so boy do I feel silly. Much love to Pistol Pete Cashmore and Queen of this Blogging Ish Biche (who really should either update her blog or holla at your boy irl asap) for having my back in that box.

Sarah, February 2nd

Still self-googling after all these years…

OG friend of ILB favourite reference point “my fat crazy ex” turns up on ILB, tries to start beef, goes nowhere. Shame. Check out her make-up and stickers and ponies and Myspace.com blog here.

Rrrr, February 20th

The Word’s blog is one of the worst things on the whole internet. It seems to be wholly populated by the type of person who repeatedly sends hilarious emails to radio shows pointing out the shortcomings of the lyrics to Thin Lizzy’s ‘Jailbreak’.

The recent thread ‘I hate to admit this but…….’ is pretty jawdropping.

This just made me laugh a lot more than anything else on this blog this year, and the fact that Rrrr was a one-time poster is a near-tragedy. Plus “Jailbreak” bangs hard.

Toadfish “Toadie” Rebecchi, March 5th

The Adventures of Dom Passantino pretending to be a girl sucking off dudes? No wonder I don’t even bother trolling this blog anymore.


Biche, March 7th

Beady71 plays the recorder AND the kazoo?? Oh be still my beating heart, I’ve always looked for a man to rape me then help my five year old cousin with his music homework…

Would just like to point out that my earlier comments about Biche needing to holler at me aren’t tied into this comment. Much.

p silly, April 14th

i know nothing about, say, the technical part of music and rapping and whatnot. all i know is what appeals to me. my general music i listen to is folky, country stuff with the occasional poppy, electronic thing (mgmt “time to pretend” is one of my all time favorite songs). i had a sort of “hipster” mentality thing going on for awhile, but i’ve deserted that, so my music ranges from being woefully obscure to incredibly mainstream.

and i love theophilus london. i normally don’t listen to “rap” or “hip hop” or whatever the genre is, but i can’t stop listening to his music. it’s like taking a long drink of water after being horrendously thirsty. it’s so wonderful, catchy, and dances into my ear.
As that dude from The New Radicals sorta said, maybe you’ve been trolled too? Except Pricilla Ann Cox is apparently a real person, check for her parenting blog here. New rule: you can have opinions about music if you like Skins, you can have opinions about music if you have a kid, but if both apply? Then you’re basically a savage.

Maria Smedstad, April 28th

Truly you are the UK Carles.

When I started this blog, someone called me a British Byron Crawford. By April 2009, I was the UK Carles. I’ll be reduced to being “the Anglo-dude in charge of rewording Pitchfork news articles at Stereogum” by the end of 2010.

MF, May 15th

This ‘yatch tried to add me on Myspace a year or two ago and i feel she captures the sheer horror of  fat British bitches trying to do burlesque on every level :


If MF/Brian Beck from Winsconsin/Martorialist’s blog gets less hits than mine, its a fucking tragedy. Go there asap, he’s funnier than me. Burlesque continues to get more loathsome, ILB currently has its sights set on kniferape for Frisky and Mannish. It’s like the Beatbox Saboteurs or John Thomson playing Prince songs on the ukelele never happened.

Kat Lister, June 26th

May I also just add what a disgraceful tribute this is to the brave battle fought by Steven Wells.

To pay homage to his dignity by throwing out undignified comments – to someone you have never met might I add – wishing a tumour on them?

Is that your idea of insightful journalism, Dom Passantino?

What a disgusting comment to make.

Well, you can’t spell “Kat Lister” without “Ska Litter” or “Teal skirt”, can you now? When Swells died, I think a lot of people were all “Look at Dom, he’s paying tribute to the fallen soldier by being shocking and outraging on his blog as Stevie would have wanted”. When, in fact, I was just getting cheap laughs out of mocking a dude’s death. Still, I rescreened both series of This Morning With Richard Not Judy recently, and it became pretty clear that the Gary Putner character was based on Wells so, Kitty, with all dearest respect, “you’re ‘avin’ a laugh, intchya?”

F, July 14th

Wes Butters interviewed the post-2000 overdrive pedal/descended testes version of Hanson in ’05, started talking about MnMs being on their rider and then tried to pun this into “MnMnMmmBop”, to embarrassed silence

I’m just saying


masterjonathanf, July 27th

hi – you have displayed my picture without my permission – if you do not take it down i will sue

Yeah, right. Here’s another picture of Jonny:

What the hell look even is that? Homeless NWOBHM mystic? Navajo cancer support group leader? The Harris Brother that their parents locked in the attic while the other two went on to become the most mediocre wrestling tagteam of the late 90s? mjf has apparently forgotten to file suit so far, presumably he and Claude will be running a legal train on me within the month.

PM, August 25th

Haha, well put! With Budden it’s also the aura of entitlement, like he should be treated as one of the all time greats just ‘cos, er, he had one semi-hit-single on a major.

Not to get all lame and fanboyish on you here, but reading Phillip Mylnar’s writings was the thing that made me decide I wanted to be a music hack with my life, and him posting a comment on this blog was one of the proper fanboy markout moments of this year. Back to your regularly scheduled zinging now.

Zona Bob, October 4th

Too bad, tiny creep…

Rather obvious from your comments you know so little about Raymond Edward ‘Gilbert’ O’Sullivan – including the fact he had nearly 50 fights in the ring as an amateur boxer (how good do you have to be to get almost 50 contenders? http://www.gilbertosullivan.net/in_print/biography3.htm).

The man – a multi-millionaire, times-over – has continued to produce nearly a song-a-day,  to date,  for over FORTY YEARS (how many diatribes have you produced in that time-frame?).  He’s recently – March, 2009 – been in Nashville, USA, writing and producing songs he’s conceived and written for an up-coming album .

…are you still with me?

Here’s the deal: get your s**t together before vomiting in the toilet about artists you haven’t an inkling about, or be flushed out of this column.

Do just a smidgeon of research…

~Bob Shank Jr.
Tucson, Arizona, USA

THIS WAS FROM A POST THAT WAS ME TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LIKE GILBERT O’SULLIVAN. I dread to think what GOS’s stream team do to people who cross him, presumably Biz Markie had to go witness protection for a few years back in the early 90s.

michelle of the grey, October 13th

i have no fucking idea who you are, but given that how i randomly stumbled upon you because i was checking the correct Umlaut spelling of dropping a mad 80s reference, i found you. with the same reference. oh how we know to lie with german bullets.

and i’m pretty damned convinced there’s a reason for it.

maybe it’s all the hallucinogens typing.


our love is god & we are glass,

–more glorious dawn.

I know what you’re thinking: I shoulda put a ring on that.

Will, November 18th

Surely McMahon deserves another look after his “without 9/11, no My Chemical Romance” piece in this week’s NME?

Yeah, James McMahon is a fat fuck who can’t write. Anyway, side note. See this message here? It was sent from I’m sure you’re fascinated, huh? The same IP left another reference to the NME being shit under the name Dick Whitman here. But then… both of Kat Lister’s posts to this blog have been from that IP address. As is a poster by this man to a Roger Whittaker fan message board. Either a) Kat Lister has MPD or b) Kat Lister works with someone who thinks the dudes she freelances for are a bunch of tards. One for pondering on another day, says I…

  1. Toadfish "Toadie" Rebecchi
    December 20, 2009 at 2:11 am

    Thanks for the shout out, big man.

  2. MF
    December 21, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Did da gawd Claude C not drop any clandestine comments in the ’09?

    • Dom Passantino
      December 21, 2009 at 7:53 pm

      Claude decided I wasn’t even on his level, and decided to let his little homey e-lawyers ride on my after our first skirmishes.

  3. Cashmore
    December 23, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    I’ll be back to big you up in the Y2K10.

  4. January 11, 2010 at 11:58 am

    Thanks for the link! G forwarded this to show me you were keeping up with my output in addition to stalking her livejornal still. Why not enter our comp this week? You could use some prettying up.

  5. p silly
    March 15, 2010 at 1:51 am

    I’m more than a little confused. I Google’d my name because I recently had something come out and wanted to see if anyone was talking about it (alas, no…) and came across this.

    Uh, what? I obviously don’t understand the tone of this, or much else, really.

    Am I being referred to as a troll? For leaving a comment? Also, I assume you’re joking when you say “parenting” blog, but I don’t get the joke. And I don’t get the “new rule”. What is that based on? What are you referencing? Who is it that meets both of that criteria and is a savage?

    Maybe it’s because I don’t really know what your blog is about and have only read that Theophilus London post, and this one, but I really don’t get what’s going on here.

  6. Mr Brittas
    May 16, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    ^^^^^ amazing! dumb bitch

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