Home > FILLER! FILLER!! FILLER!!! > Passantinos (Passantini?) on YouTube: a potted history

Passantinos (Passantini?) on YouTube: a potted history

Dear Dom Passantino,
I found you on the web, you seem to be a blogger and music writer.
Maybe we are distant cousins?
Anyway, I thought I would humbly ask you to check out the music of
me and my brother.
My trippy music is at http://www.sprucesap.com
and we make Passantino-style hiphop at:
http://www.myspace.com/uncledirtyandthejaguar

Please let me know what you think!
Thanks for your time.
Best Regards,
Phil Passantino
Garfield, NJ

We were sent this email 18 months ago, but could never be bothered to do anything with it. However, nothing says “building a brand” more than repeatedly mentioning your surname over the course of a filler-filled blogpost. So while Big City Philpassantino doesn’t get owt from us, here are some other classic Passantino moments on Youtube, thankfully not include that one time I did “On A Ragga Tip” at karaoke.

 

That’s Amore (guitar) – Filippo Passantino

Filippo Passantino has to be the whitest fucking Italian I’ve seen in my entire life, he’s like the high yellow of guidos. As a dude of mixed Sicilian/Calabrese heritage myself, I think I’m supposed to empathise with the man here, but the fact that a) he’s playing guitar in front of my nan’s TV from 2001 and b) that guitar solo really does make him a tough man to love. Also, how on earth do you fuck up “That’s Amore!”? It’s not even a song, it’s just a slurred list of foodstuffs. How do you manage to detract from its goodness? 10/10 for the disinterested backing vocalist though. Also pay attention to his bouncey dance. I don’t think the tarantella is the only gay thing about this rendition, if you catch my drift.

 

Alex Passantino speaks at the 2009 Valiant Executive Retreat

Classic material from a man who couldn’t decide whether to have his shirt collar up or down before he went on stage, so decided on both. Mugatu-baiting claim that child labour is bad leads slowly into me just wondering if this guy has Bell’s Palsy or not. This is part 1 of Big Al’s speech. It has gained a triumphant 20 hits in the past four months. Part 6 currently has 7 hits, so, idk, maybe you can make a 4Chan meme out of this guy. I think he says at the end he was solely responsible for Katrina on his own.

 

Megan Passantino

Classic Passantino behaviour, recording a whole internet clip with the sole intent of showing your sole black friend off.

 

John Passantino vs Ryan Castillo MMA fight

Spoiler: Passantino taps like a bitch after 41 seconds. Passantinos have got a pretty proud fighting heritage to be honest: my dad once knocked a wild donkey unconscious while at school I hospitalised a kid who looked like Hey Arnold with a cranial fracture.

 

Mangano Passantino and Balls – What’s Wrong With My Dick?

More like it. The world has been crying out for a outsider art version of Wednesday13 doing their take on “Detachable Penis”, but MPB had you covered like downy fur a whole decade back. Or like this guy’s chin is covered with a luxurious neckbeard.

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