Archive

Archive for November, 2009

IchLugeBullets’ Singles Club: The Indelicates – Unity Mitford

November 29, 2009 2 comments

The Indelicates’ debut album, “American Demo”, is one of ILB’s top 20 LPs of the decade. We get the feeling nobody else likes them, being as they are basically two trolls, one of whom wants to be Luke Haines and the other one who looks like the chick who does the “Real Life Photo Drama” spoofs in Viz. But we hold them very close to our hearts here at ILB. Read more…

Your brief guide to “This Will Be Our Year”

November 28, 2009 Leave a comment

The Zombies – This Will Be Our Year

I never mentioned this at the time, but I always thought that maybe… 2% of the Arctic Monkeys’ success was down to the fact they had the word “monkey” in their name. They were shooting for a 6th forum/uni student market, so what better way to appeal to them than to throw a “lol random” buzzword in there? If I wanted to make megabucks right now from a band, they would have the word “ninja”, “pirate” or “cheese” in their name. I don’t know if The Zombies have made any extra money out of the 36-month craze for all things zombiefied amongst cretins (maybe horrorpunk bands are finally cashing in on that? Someone check Wednesday13’s shareholdings), but then I suppose they make enough from playing ATPs and shit like that? Is that undignified for a band of their age? Just makes me think of when you go and see a gig and there’s some 55-year-old going ham at the front and all you can consider is “Why aren’t you at home with a wife and child who love you dearly?”. Good song, mind. Read more…

Critical discourse pt 2

November 26, 2009 2 comments

Passantinos (Passantini?) on YouTube: a potted history

November 25, 2009 Leave a comment

Dear Dom Passantino,
I found you on the web, you seem to be a blogger and music writer.
Maybe we are distant cousins?
Anyway, I thought I would humbly ask you to check out the music of
me and my brother.
My trippy music is at http://www.sprucesap.com
and we make Passantino-style hiphop at:
http://www.myspace.com/uncledirtyandthejaguar

Please let me know what you think!
Thanks for your time.
Best Regards,
Phil Passantino
Garfield, NJ

We were sent this email 18 months ago, but could never be bothered to do anything with it. However, nothing says “building a brand” more than repeatedly mentioning your surname over the course of a filler-filled blogpost. So while Big City Philpassantino doesn’t get owt from us, here are some other classic Passantino moments on Youtube, thankfully not include that one time I did “On A Ragga Tip” at karaoke. Read more…

Heavens to Etsy: She’s crafty, she gets around

November 23, 2009 1 comment

Etsy is one of the few online properties to see its hit figures skewed more than 2:1 in favour of female visitors. It’s also one of the truly great inventions of the past decade. Rather than go out and spend £50 in an actual shop where items are made to some guarantee of quality for your missus’ Christmas present, all you now need to do is just type some proper nouns she njoys into Etsy’s search engine and bada bing, she’s now the proud recipient of a £3.99 John Barrowman bottle opener, or a knitting pattern for a tea cosy depicting Diane and Lloyd from “Say Anything”.

Anyway, being as rap fans don’t actually buy the CDs of any of the musicians they spend all their time talking about, they have a lot of disposable income. The Etsy crowd has belatedly twigged onto that and is now seeking a slice of that cashed-up pie. Here’s ten of the finest examples of this. It’s like a fucking Cracked.com post or something. Read more…

Paul Merson’s moustache

November 21, 2009 3 comments

As said before, we’re working on something else at the moment, so we weren’t going to post today, but… what the fuck is this? I know it’s Movember, but personally I’d be happy to die of testicular cancer if it meant never having to look at this monstrosity again. It’s like a cross between a Wrestlemani XIX era Triple H and the dead one from the Village People. Fuck me.

Notes from the world of blogging…

November 19, 2009 Leave a comment

We’re working on another one of our award-winning articles about, idk, the state of the British music journalism industry or some Mid-West lyrical cat rapper that only six people actually care about at the moment, but we thought we’d just interrupt your Google Reader profile to let you know that over the past two hours we’ve seen at least 30 hits for this site for people searching for “Sarah Boden”, “Sarah Boden Observer Music Monthly” and, my personal favourite, “Sarah Boden Cunt”. Could someone be self-googling? Or does she just have a particularly ill-skilled stalker? We’ll keep you informed here at ILB.

Always wondered how that little lad’s career was going to cope after Mike Jack rolled a seven. Sarah, can you phone up some of the peeps in your contact book and let us know? It’s not as if you have an actual job to occupy your time any more, huh?