Home > Fuck all y'all > Vote now and choose ILB’s new Carpentieri

Vote now and choose ILB’s new Carpentieri

We’re talking about the art of the square-go.

On your super soaraway ILB Twitter account the other day, we made a light-hearted reference to Dan Hancox being a shitty writer on account of, you know, him being a shitty writer. Anyway, we thought nothing of this until a little birdy told us to check the feed of rewriting-Wikipedia-entries-for-pleasure-and-Guardian-commission-fees funnyman John “Prancehall” McSurname. And oh the joy: he’d stuck up for his less famous, less irritating buddy, in the same way I’m sure ILB celebrity fan Pete Cashmore would do if we were ever disparaged by, say, a bunch of American housewaves upset at an ill-conceived crack about some toddler or other.

And, I gotta admit, that got us kinda hyped. Like I said before, ILB is about nothing if it’s not about the art of the square-go. I know what you like here: you like us going toe-to-toe with your Claude Carpentieris, your Joe Mofrads. Heck, you don’t mind reading the occasional well-considered argument about the death of the British music industry, but you’d rather see a boying. Christina McDermott only fought back behind closed doors, and James McMahon‘s only interested in the kind of beef you get in a munchy box. So, yeah, we were amped up.

And then…

From: masterjonathanf

hi – you have displayed my picture without my permission – if you do not take it down i will sue

Some internet hardmanning from ILB’s classic utterly failed troll exercise “Trance Anthems”. And, I did a little Googling, a little prep work, and found that we could really go to the mattresses with this guy. Imagine that: IchLugeBullets throwing down against a lonely degenerate in his 40s, plus his online army of pretend submissives. In a month where boxing lost three of its finest champions, I’d consider it an honour to bring back the code of the warrior for this. And here’s just a brief snippet of potential lulz, a direct quote from him on some website or other:

Television: Stargate SG1,Two and a half men – otherwise TV is a brainrotter

But, I will let the ILB masses decide my next move:

Who should ILB now engage in a petty and childish war of insults and internet stalking with?

Pervert with long-hair
Journalist from 2005

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  1. MF
    July 28, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Ride out on both of ’em but make a particular example of dude who pulled the ol’ remove-my-pic-or-i’ll-sue rabbit outta the hat.

    Motherfuckers up in this ‘net game but got the rules missin’.

    • Dom Passantino
      July 28, 2009 at 11:20 pm

      If you wanna swap “masterjonathanf” for your Oxbridge Panty Shot Photo Agency dude on some “Throw Momma From The Train” steel, I’m happy w/that.

  2. maxr
    July 28, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    “@danhancox He’s the guy who slags off all the Guardian music writers and tells people he worked there, when he just did one review once.”

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