Home > Fuck all y'all > An slow-roasted review of Jay-Z’s “Death Of Autotune”

An slow-roasted review of Jay-Z’s “Death Of Autotune”

Autotune the Newas

The problem with blogging is that people are confusing news, which needs to be up to date, with criticism, which needs to be considered. There’s a reason that Nah Right contains no analysis outside of “I would quite like to lovingly tongue Cam’ron’s ballsack”, or that Pitchfork has always kept its news and reviews sections like two dicks with no bitch. With that in mind, we’ve had a week to consider Sean Carter’s return to the recording sphere now, and I’ve comprised the following treatise on what this means to both rap, and music in general, as a whole. I hope you enjoy it:

Part of me thought that the Beastie Boys would beat him to it, but Jigga has finally made it: the first career rapper for whom every new album will be greeted by reviews that read “A stunning return to form, his best album since “Automatic for the People””. I suppose this is a sign of rap’s maturity, but to be honest I’d rather this point was reached with DMX making the cut on the Tahoe Celebrity Invitational Gold Championships rather than this. Still, it’s less embarassing than Marilyn Manson dragging his middle-aged ass on stage to rage against the long list of women that have dumped his pasty white ass, so there’s another reason why rap > rock.

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