Archive

Archive for May, 2009

BBC children’s programming now apparently features cactus puppets singing “Mo Money Mo Problems”

The fact that I can’t embed this  is close to being a straight-up tragedy. Taken from “Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions” (the puppet in question is “Oucho”, not “Ed”), and as wonderful as this all is, do the kids really need it? If Chris Langham hadn’t have gone down for a two-stretch, would Boobah have tackled something from side one of “Illmatic”? Does Miss Hoolie need to break that Scottish slang shit down for us one time? Or (third unfunny gag about kids TV characters doing a mid 90s rap classic)? Probably not. Nice how the cactus does go directly for Biggie’s verse. Ma$e marginalised yet again…

That one Cassetteboy/Apprentice thing you’ve already seen everyfuckingwhere else

So anyway, I got the first “lol have u seen this lol” message about this video around 10:30am this morning, and thought to myself “Oh, that’s an idea, I can just throw that up on ILB, shove some old Cassetteboy MP3s underneath it, and somehow pass that off as content. Read more…

Some music we’ve been listening to while not bothering to update this thing

We may as well close this blog down now. I think Phil Brown won music this weekend. People go on and fucking on about George Jones on Hee-Haw as some sort of gold standard of vocal performances, but the KC crowd got treated to something that made GJ need to go and play the back for a while. Pretend you’re a UK-based broadsheet football columnist here by writing your own played-out string of punchlines revolving around Cuprinol, Britney Spears’ microphones, call centre employees, or Tango adverts. And then collect a £75k a year minimum salary.

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Howl do you like me now?

May 22, 2009 2 comments

So, anyway, yeah, in yesterday’s little post we didn’t really mention the band in question much, but rest assured they are fucking amazing and if you’re that desperate to read more about them you can check this review from The Independent, written by Simon “Not Grimy” Price, where in a fantastic bout of “reviews mainly in character”, the 90s journalist says that the band are reminiscent “primarily of unjustly forgotten 1990s heroes Orlando”. I know, right? Read more…

Napoleon – I Try To Despise The Ugly People (But The Beautiful Ones Keep Turning Me Down)/I Love My Baby (But If Anyone Touches Her I’ll Kill Them)

Peter Beardsley Napoleon Ugly People

As long-time readers will be aware, we here at ILB are pretty much dead inside and experience pleasure in very little these days. The occasionally lingering touch of the hand of some bitch who’s recently friendzoned us, andPhileas Fogg’s Salsa With Mexican Chilli Tortilla Chips, are pretty much all we have left. That and last.fm confusions about two bands who have the same name. Read more…

Wolfram Alpha is a crock of shit

May 20, 2009 2 comments

alltheweb

Obviously we’ve all been busy on the internet today frantically hitting “refresh” on Patrick Swayze Wikipedia entry to see if he had crapped out and we could finally unleash all those “I’m ghost like…/Put him in the corner” zings we’ve been saving up since he first dabbled with the big C, but some other shit has been going down as well. WolframAlpha is “some science nerd bullshit”, a Google for the few people around who wouldn’t like to see Ben Goldacre’s smug self-satisfied face kicked in by a gang of Fundamentalist Christians. Read more…

10 Reasons Why Rap Doesn’t Suck

May 18, 2009 3 comments

Longtime readers of ILB will now be expecting me to say something like “And even after all that, he’s still more learn’ed a writer about rap music than Hattie Collins”, but recently I’ve started getting bare hits on this blog for just my name and then the names of random Guardian music hacks. So either a) you, the readers, are desperately trying to remember “Oh, what was that funny thing the fat Italian dude said about George Monbiot’s review of that Gigi D’Agostino gig or b) I’m actually about to be murdered and Farringdon’s hitsquad are just gathering of all the slurs committed against Louis Pattison’s name.  I am not going to die of natural causes, unlike Pimp C or Big Pun. Read more…