You know something? As we enter day three of our exploration into what guys on a BDSM site would do if asked to review an album by a cute 20-year-old indie girl, with the best review earning her as a submissive, we’ve come to despair of all human life. There’s still another 2500 words of review to come after this. Including a Tindersticks fan. I… just have just lost all will to live reading this. I’d like to hope it similarly fucks you up as well.
The Pevert: TallnDark2007
The Preferences: “I love to dress sharp, with a natural fashion flair”. Also claims to be an “expert” at hair-pulling which, admittedly, is a pretty complex subject.
The Review: First things first….so pleased to see a geniune person on here! I can tell cause you call Torture Garden TG! 🙂 Secondly am sooooo impressed you a Nick Cave fan! Now Im not going to go on and on here I have a job/life/etc to take care of but for me the best album of all time even if its not exactly the most radical of the genre has got to be London Calling by the Clash. Probably because I got to see them play in Toronto with Black Uhuru and they just blew me away. But I have been lucky in my life to have seen some truly momentus gigs…Sex Pistols, Jam, U2 (on the first album tour not the rubbish from the ’90s) and assorted long dead punk groups that were better than anything that has come down the pike in the last 15 years. 🙂
The Pervert: Dantine
The Preferences: “I am (a month shy of) 30 years old, and retired. My brain functions differently than normal peoples, but the doctors have not really been able to pinpoint it to the point of diagnose. The closest they have come is to say it is a physical difference in the brain functions, and that it seems similar to the autistic spectrum.”
The Review: I like music, lots and lots of music… but I am not obsessed with it. Most of the time it is background music or just emotions made tangible. I have never been one to remember names or albums or things like that, I just enjoy the music. Actually my wife is a lot better at music than I am, to her music is life, while to me life is a form of music. But still, I can easily tell you my favourite album… and it isn’t even because of the music, it is because of the memories. It is Jugulator by Judas Priest. I had the best and the worst time in my life listening to that album, and it was also the first time in my life that music was a common part of my life, so you could say it was the cd that stole my virginity. To this date when I hear some of the tunes of that cd I get flashbacks of all the crazy shit I did with my friend and our girlfriend listening to that very album. Actually I was at his 30th birthday yesterday… the girl is his fiancée now. Time goes, but music… music stays the same.
The Pervert: darkdom4u
The Preferences: “White women”
The Review: Well for music anything old really, pink floyd, the who, stones,nick drake, jeff and tim buckley.Especially jeff,anyone who makes an album playing all his own instruments is a legend really. Recently ive kind of found that nothing has really latched onto me mgmt are fun the view make me want to break things and get sweaty and then i get really selective.
(Ironically enough, The View make us here at ILB want to break things as well. Namely their lead singer’s neck)
The Pervert: CtrlPhreak
The Preferences: “My two-year-old son”. I don’t think he means in that way.
The Review: Ugh… asking me to pick just one album? That’s not fair 😛 I mean, there’s rubber soul (i ❤ norweigan wood)… but then again, what about Desultory’s Bitterness? Pretty much *the* defining death/scandinavian metal album imho, full of long twiddly guitar solo’s and indeciferable screaming voices… But then I love led zep IV – can’t beat stairway to heaven… And then there’s The Final Cut – Two suns in the sunset is my all time favorite floyd track… And then we have the problem of how to fit in Ride a white swan by T-Rex, arguably bolan’s best work… But how can I forget Missisipi John Hurt & the 1918 sessions? Some of the softest fingerpicked blues I’ve ever heard… Then there’s NWA’s Straight Outta Compton – best rap album of all time. And thats before I even get started on the stuff I love that doesn’t really come from an album… And, completely ignoring my own (http://myspace.com/2exit) musical endevours with my band…
The Pevert: demonwolf
The Preferences: “I am highly educated, very intelligent, cultured, well traveled, intense, extremely creative, with a good appreciation for the finer things in life and great sense of humor”
The Review: Nirvana’s Nevermind sounds so cliche and overplayed today because a million and one bands have ripped off their innovative sound that molded grunge and rock music for the better. The musicianship of the album isn’t complicated for the mostpart, as “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Come As You Are” are typical songs for the early guitarist, but the song writing and arrangements are so well done that the need for anything profound and complex is immediately thrown out. Nirvana was a band who were great at what they did, needing only their honesty and emotion to get them across, not flashy 80’s solos and glam attire.
Kurt Cobain’s guitar work, as stated, was not complex, but was interesting, new, innovative, creative, and original, as he was one of the first artists to begin using the rhythm guitar to lead the melody without the choppy leads of 80’s hair metal. His chord progressions are simple and basic for a large portion of the album, but throughout the entire recording his technique stays true to form, using original flowing riffs to carry the song when he does use his instrument as a lead. Kurt Cobain’s guitar style has essentially motivated and shaped how the instrument has been used since 1991 and almost all of rock’s song writing processes today. In equal impressiveness alongside his guitar skill are Cobain’s lyrics and his vocal stylings, which always have an underwritten sense of urgency and need in them, supporting the hurt heard in his voice. Although he did not possess one of the greatest voices in music, and still does not, he used his singing well with the music, fitting the musicianship and instrumentation perfectly.
Chris Novoselic’s bass lines are upbeat, catchy, and just as sincere as Kurt’s guitar playing, his instrument carrying a melody all of its own instead of just following the bass drum and staying in the background, once again breaking away from the rock and metal stylings of the previous decade. Truly standout. Alongside him on the rhythm is Dave Grohl, who should’ve stuck with the drums instead of moving onto fronting the Foo Fighters in later years and taking up guitar duties. His drumming is solid and top notch on Nevermind, showing him at his best on the instrument he shines with.
Standout tracks in addition to the first six, all of which were hit singles, are “On A Plain” and “Something In The Way”‘s acoustic strummings. One of the greatest albums of the 90’s. You may think Nirvana is getting a bit old now and the sound too cliche, but try to listen from a perspective when all this was new to the scene and you will feel the truly groundbreaking effect on you it was meant to have. So this is one of my favoirte albums and as for what I do too you, mmm how about this.
Feed me your flesh and nothing else. No thinking. No planning. Nothing involved other than me finding you naked and me having your sacred places just for me.
Let me lose my mind in the carnal – all consumingness of it all. I want to insert engorged cock into writhing heated folds of wet fem flesh.
I want to feel fingernails on my back. I want to twist your hair around my fist.
This is no fast fuck either. No slam bam thank you ma’am lunch break kind of frenzied fuck.
This is a sweaty end up totally spent fall to the bed exhausted barely able to maintain normal life functions marathon fuck-fest.
This is wanton loose control expect that every part of my body will be touched – stroked – clinched – searched while I bite, thrash, slam, growl, twist, demand, turn, position, embrace, lose myself into your flesh.
(continues in the same way for another thousand words)
The Pervert: Lord Dominant
“My book is now available
“. Also supports Newcastle United… which surely makes him more of a masocist than a sadist, huh? Am I right guys? Am I?
The Review: So my favourite album of all time, that’s a hard one it does change with my mood. One that is always high on the list is S&M by Metallica. I like music that takes things in a fresh direction, and this album does that, it also shows the versatility of heavy metal music by bringing in a full symphony orchestra. Also it is a bit of a best of Metallica, so many classic songs that most people know inside out all with a new twist, my favourite track from the album being “Of Wolf(gang) and Man”, also I am a huge fan of live music, so when I cant get to a gig a live album is the next best thing.
The Pervert: red23dom
The Preferences: Not uploading a picture, not filling in a profile
The Review: my favvourite album is up the bracket as it really cannot be touched for my generation. There is not many bands that can honestly appeal to both girls and blokes on a punk/indie level. Fave song from it is music when the lights go out as its just Pete in a raw backing. I went to see him at the albert hall last year and there was a riot at the end which got the cops involved. Not sure in its 200 year history that has happened much
The Pervert: FlammingMonkey (no photo)
The Preferences: “I’m a bearded, meat eating smoker into home brewing, fire dancing, literature, films, ethical living and having kinky fun.”
The Review: Grrr, I have to pick one, just one album as a favourite? Picking a genre is hard enough for me…… I think I’ll pick two as they are the ones I’m playing most at the moment. YouthNovels by Lykki Li. Very delicate, pretty, intimate music with a truly OBSCENE yet sweet first track (Melodies and Desires). I’m also still playing the Flobots Album… LOTS. It starts with ‘theirs a war going on for your mind’ and ends with ‘We are winning’. Everything between is poetic, angsty fiddle driven hip-hop.
As for what I’d do to you? I’ll put aside all the abudction play idea’s I’ve been having lately.
So… lets start with some Johnny Cash playing in the back ground. His intense, slightly dark love songs. Things like Cindy, Cindy (which you’ll be pleased to hear has your man Nick on it). You in a simple skirt suit, trying to look sweet and respectable.
I’d want to inspect you first. This is likely to end with me stood behind your, having tied your hands behind your back, me kissing and biting your neck, one hand in your panties teasing your clit, the other groping your breasts and pulling hard on your nipples.
When you got close to cumming, right on the edge…. I’d stop. Step back from you and if you fell over, stand over your prostrate form. Either way, the next couple of hours are liable to see you being blindfolded, stripped (clothing cut from you if the only other choice is undoing bonds) and me seeing how much of a pain slut you really are. I’d pick an area to start on with the paddle and see how much you could take before saying enough, moving straight onto another area. This would repeat untill I’d done a couple of circuits of your body, all the time I’m not paddling you, rubbing your clit, teasing your tits or giving you the privelege of sucking on my cock.
Once I was bored with causing you pain, I’d switch to just teasing you. Trailing ice cubes over your sore skin, holding you close so you can feel my every breath on your neck before I bite. The aim would be to get you so worked up you’d beg me to fuck you, at which point I’ll gag you, force you onto your front with ass high and proud and pound into your pussy.
The Pervert: CardinalSinn
The Preferences: “I like rock music,tattoos,corsets,good conversation,romance,a lady with curves well a volumptuous girl then,corsets,fishnets,a girl that gives you that look that melts your perverted heart”
The Review: THE STROKES -IS THIS IT. Ok i bought this album by chance used to listen to steves lacmacqs show on a night when he played the Modern way which to this day is one of my fave songs.I went to virgin record stores to buy the SLIPKNOT lp i was a huge metal fan at the time but in the net rack was a cover of a naked girls ass being caressed with a nice black glove i thought take a chance and bought it discarding my slipknot
Is this it to me is the greatest debut lp ever its got everything on it from indie rock,classic pop,heavy rock to haunting ballads i love the guitar playing on this lp so much its so not fucked with wifgits and studio gloss its plug in play and record it ,the solo on last nite is just perfection if i was to take a lp to a desrt island it would be Is This it and Take or leave it has to be one of the best ways to finish a album ever and to think these guys have only had three lps out pure quailty.
The Pervert: ukking82
The Preferences: Uses a lot of smileys. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
The Review: Im totally the same as u but dominant woop! got pics if u want em! fave album has to be either Far from the Maddening Clouds, Chicane or Outrospective by Faithless or But Seriously by Phil Collins,….or Graceland by Paul Simon…or anything fleetwood mac…ok this cud take ages. They are all exceptionally well produced albums. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds are quality!!! Also find Union Station are good to do bondage too. And of its really kinky, some of Orbitals stuff is pretty good. Who do you like most? On the bondage front I LOVE ball gags…a quiet slave is a good slave 🙂 i think strict bondage is great fun, but im not into all this “you bitch u whore” stuff…well am a bit, but generally I think slaves should be respected by their master 🙂 Thats a quick email…let me know if you want to know more and I will gladly oblidge, as Im round London too!! xx