ILB’s Week In Spotify #1
Can you believe the internet seemingly doesn’t have a better picture of Spotty from the Bash Street Kids on it? Or, for that matter, a good high resolution image of the entire Bash Street gang together? We have all this fucking money being thrown at trying to make a movie based around something called “The Watchmen” a hit, while at the same time forgetting the true kings of the British comic industry. Makes me fucking sick… Anyway, for the uninitiated, Spotify is the “new” “thing”, go here for an explan. One of the best things about it though is that it gives us here at ILB the chance to make up playlists based around bullshit notions and then you can just click a link we shove in here and read along 40 word pithy track reviews while you listen in real time. Isn’t that a wonder? Anyway, here’s this week’s playlist, which helpfully accompanied me spending 30 hours in the office over a period of two days. Good times.
The Lonely Island – I’m On A Boat
I’m still struggling to make my mind up on these guys, and the fact that at least two reviews I’ve seen bandied about use the dreaded phrase “nerdcore” pushes me further into the “anti” camp. I get the feeling I’ll finally decide I don’t like that around the time that I’ve listened to them enough for The Lonely Island to feature on my last.fm charts, so people in the street will approach me and go “So, I hear you like The Lonely Island?” What’s impressive about “I’m On A Boat” is how it sounds, if you strip the vocals out, like what it’s parodying: a modern day Khaled-esque fl0ss track. It’s a same with a lot of the “Incredibad” album really: “Jizz In My Pants” is Timbland 2007 while “Natalie’s Rap”, in what few people would have considered a commercial viability in 2009, is a spot-on pastiche of Boss and your other six East Coast shouting women rapper from the turn of the 90s. Still, weird how the best bit of “T-Pain on a boat” comedy actually came 18 months earlier. “I’m so gay, gay people call me an abomination to gaydom”.
Big Punisher ft Tony Sunshine – 100%
Christopher Rios (November 9, 1971 – February 7, 2000). The greatest Latino rapper of all time, and arguably one of the ten most naturally talented MCs of all time. “The night is young and I’m already fighting/ Hiding my gun/ Promoters buggin’, screaming ‘Who the fuck invited Pun?'” Remember him this way.
Big Punisher ft Incubus – Still Not A Player (Remix)
Don’t remember him this way. And no, that’s not a forgotten Terror Squad affiliate with the coincidental name of “Incubus”, it’s the late 90s nu-metal version of Matchbox 20. I’m not quite sure how or why this happened, but if you can’t enjoy one of the best boning section tracks of the past 20 years being ruined by the mental image of Brandon Boyd and Fat Joe running a train on some broad in Pun’s memory, then you’re surely dead inside. I also never understood that “I could go downstairs/Little brown hairs everywhere/”You nasty Pun”/I don’t care” line. Is he implying that the height of sexual perversion he could stetch to is cunnilingus? Or is he saying that his current beau has a very hairy anus? Incubus’s DJ’s utterly amazing choruses scratches sadly don’t answer this pressing question. Taken from an album (“Loud Rocks”. No, me neither) that also features Static-X remixing Dead Prez’s “Hip Hop” and the long awaited union of Sevendust and Xzibit.
Will Smith – Party Starter
Now that it’s taken as given that Smith is the biggest star in Hollywood, would someone mind answering the question of why, for the second single from his last album, he tried to reinvent himself as DMX for the Flanders kids?
Domenico Modugno – Lu Tambureddu
Within 20 years, I’ll have myself a gig as a leading TV producer, in charge of a show called “England”. The lives and dealings of five gangs of organised criminals, all immigrants, operating inside of Blighty. No regular character has an English accent or name. So you’ll have your Kosovan people traffickers, all short leather jackets, stubble, and afternoons spent on roulette machines at William Hill. Short-fused Yardies, straight outta SW2 and with the mental health conditions to match. Harringey-area Turkish heroin dealers, with the possibility of turning “Yesh, bosh” as the show’s catchphrase (could go on t-shirts, posters, Bebo wallpapers). Former IRA members who’ve kept their arsenal and now work as goons for hire, specialising in revenge against any Huns. And then there’d be the Italians. Maybe Sicilians, maybe my Naples brethren. Opening shot of them is a pan through a coffee shop, past the Gaggia, past the cannoli, into the backroom, cigarette smoke hangs thick over empty wine bottles and four men, two in coppalas, two with slick white hair, playing briscola. And this is the song that soundtracks that shot.
Chas and Dave – Got My Beer On The Sideboard Here
People either spend their time overstating the rhythm section capabilities of Chas and Dave (sure they were good enough to be sampled by Eminem, but so were Aerosmith), or ignoring everything about them other than their novelty quotient. Nobody ever seems to accept that they could do a novelty tune with legit musical chops. “Got My Beer On The Sideboard Here” does sound a little like it should have been remixed by the Cuban Boys sometime around the tragic events of 9/11, but the flow Chas and/or Dave goes into when he kicks that “‘On top of that, he said, I’ll tell you why I got the ‘ump” suggest that the Channel U generation have finally found the father that’s missing on most of their birth certificates.
Webb Pierce – There Stands The Glass
As covered by Half Man Half Biscuit and, less impressively, Van Morrison. I honestly can’t think of a better drinking song in music’s history that didn’t feature E-Swift.
Ludacris ft Chris Rock – Everybody Hates Chris
Disturbing That Peace ft Scarface – Growing Pains (Do It Again) (Remix)
It’s quite possibly time to just accept Luda as rap’s Antonio Cassano, an amazingly talented individual who just isn’t going to put out the cohesive masterpiece most of us have been stroking ourselves over since the turn of the decade in anticipation of. Luda Will Never Drop A Classic Album. Fact. “Everybody Hates Chris” is the best cut from “Theatre of the Mind”, a beat that sounds like a high budget version of something you’d hear on a Detroit-area MC’s sophomore mixtape paired with the goofy punchline rap that he works best with (“I’m sort of a big deal/ These Giovanni rims are sort of a big wheel/ This five course dinner is sort of a big meal”). Compare and contrast with how he sounded seven years previously on this remix of a single from DTP’s utter bomb of an album “Golden Grain”. Answer: slightly different.
Flip & Fill ft Karen Parry – Shooting Star (Pascal Remix)
Ich Luge Bullets’ solitary quest to rehabilitate Northern House continues unabated. Eff the haters, this bangs.