Home > I'm just saying, I'm not saying > Grading the fat acceptance gravatars

Grading the fat acceptance gravatars

 

You know how we do on IchLugeBullets, we stay ahead of the curve. And are there two more exciting things to discuss right now than the concepts of “globally recognised avatars”, as in pictorial representations of internet users that stay constant across a number of websites, and “fat acceptance”, as in a post-feminist movement consisting of women who did feminism 101 at university, found that whole “fighting for equality” thing a bit too much like hard work, but did take great to the “fat is a feminist issue” thing, and promptly when balling in Greggs? Of course there isn’t So we here at ILB would like to present to you a brief review of some of our favourite fat acceptance blog gravatars. No links to the websites themselves, because we really don’t need to give these people any more coverage than they deserve.

Shapely Prose

kateiconlauraiconfjicon

From what I understand of this fucking awful, second in abhorrence only to the PUAs, culture, Kate Harding (left) is the don dada of the fat acceptance movement, and (middle, right) she’s also put a couple of her weed carriers on a well. Or whatever the fat acceptance equivalent of a weed carrier is. Ghee carrier? Regardless, these are dreadful gravatars for two reasons. One: you’re running a fat acceptance blog, you people make it quite clear that anyone who has a BMI lower than, say, the average points tally for a team finishing 17th in the Premiership is dangerously thin and “not a real woman”. So how come these three photos only have three chins between them? The pen is lying to me. Secondly, it’s a poor art aesthetic, they look like “reassuring” characters drawn on GP surgery literature to reassure children that there’s nothing to worry about from rubella. From a woman who’s meant to be running this fat acceptance shit, her gravatar game is weak. Rating: 2/10

 

Well-Rounded

well-rounded

What in the aitch is meant to be going on here? You get something like 64 by 64 pixels to make a splash in the gravatar world, which is why IchLugeBullets sticks to dead Harlem Renaissance poets and dead Sicilian football managers of the 1970s, depending on how we’ve logged onto WordPress that morning. This, on the other hand… not a clue. Small press comic book clipping? Some DeviantArt try-too-hard Amero-manga bullshit? The cover of an import only Sega Saturn RPG circa 1995? Couldn’t these people use all the money they save on gym memberships and hire a graphic designer? Rating: 1/10

 

Unapologetically Fat

unapologetically-fat

As mentioned on this site before, one of the many publications I’ve been fired from freelancing for  in my time is goth wank rag Bizarre Magazine. I did an article once about some specialist fetish website, and was interviewing the maintainer/webmaster/moneymaker of all it. And he seemed ridiculously normal, not in a plain way, just in a grey, tedious way. A basic run of the mill dude with an unfortunate penchant for guyliner. So I brought this up with him, that it was queer to see such a depraved industry get repped by such an L7. His response, spoken through bland chortles, was “Oh no, you’re quite mistaken, I’ve always been into some ‘out there’ stuff… once a year I do an amateur dramatics production of the Rocky Horror show, for instance”. And that’s what this photo reminds me of. Boring people who enjoy re-enacting shitty movies in front of utter cretins. Rating: 4/10 for keeping it real.

 

The Long and Winding Road

longwinding

So, this is a logo ganked directly from a Threadless t-shirt, and really what can you say about it? If you enjoy purchasing vinyl toys, spending more money on wrapping paper than the gift inside of it, repeatedly name-dropping the cuisines of mediocre countries (as if Mauritius and Slovenia are bringing high quality ish to the table every night) and owning a fucking MacBook, then this is the t-shirt/gravatar for you. Congratulations to Threadless and all of their fans on a tremendous existence. Rating: 6/10

 

Ottermatic

ottermatic

Wait, are the New Jersey Four those Goth kids that tortured and dismembered that chick in the mid 90s, and now Metallica want them to be freed from prison so there’ll at least be one small pocket of people at their gigs that’ll be excited to hear tracks from “St Anger”? No? Oh, care. 4/10

 

Men In Full

men-in-full

Although this is down as a Fat Acceptance blog, a few minutes skim around it reveals that it’s really a website for bears and bear aficionados. This in of itself is funny enough in the first place, but it then goes on to reveal that the short-ass one from Chromeo is now a bear pin-up, which is just grand. When is this sub-culture going to start fapping to Officer Ross and KIMBO though? Or are they racist? Anyway, this is the only gravatar from my travels that made me feel a little sick, consisting as it does of a painting of Jonathan Meades getting raped by Guy Fieri. Rating: 0/10

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  1. January 23, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    i guess the gym must be going well, then.

    welcome to the world of looking down on fatties ex-smoker style, dom!

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