Home > Fuck all y'all > Ich Luge Bullets gives the NME’s “Cool List 2008” the respect it deserves

Ich Luge Bullets gives the NME’s “Cool List 2008” the respect it deserves

1. Alice Glass, Crystal Castles -no

2. Jay-Z – no

3. Andrew VanWyngarden, MGMT – no

4. Alex Turner, Arctic Monkeys/The Last Shadow Puppets – no

5. Sam Dust, Late Of The Pier – no

6. Ladyhawke – no

7. Caleb Followill, Kings Of Leon – no

8. M.I.A. – no

9. Liam Gallagher, Oasis – no

10. Caroline McKay, Glasvegas – no

11. Pink Eyes, Fucked Up – no

12. Guy Garvey, Elbow – no

13. Lil Wayne – no

14. Dave Sitek, TV On The Radio – no

15. Johnny Marr – no

16. Ezra Koenig, Vampire Weekend – no

17. Santogold – no

18. Ed MacFarlane, Friendly Fires – no

19. Florence Welch, Florence & The Machine – you are in the worst band currently active, thus no

20. Dev Hynes, Lightspeed Champion – no

21. Damon Albarn – no

22. Jay Reatard – no

23. Jamie Reynolds, Klaxons – no

24. Zack de la Rocha, Rage Against The Machine – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

25. Peter Gabriel – no

26. Nick McCabe, The Verve – no

27. Yannis Philippakis, Foals – no

28. Miles Kane, The Rascals/The Last Shadow Puppets  – no

29. Scarlett Johansson – no

30. Will Roan, Amazing Baby – no

31. Rivers Cuomo, Weezer – no

32. Lovefoxxx, CSS – no

33. Josh Homme, Queens Of The Stone Age – no

34. DJ Mujava – no

35. Little Boots – no

36. Frank Carter, Gallows – yeah, I’d completely forgotten this dude as well

37. Brandon Flowers, The Killers – no

38. Jason Pierce, Spiritualized – no

39. Robbie Furze, The Big Pink – no

40. Robert Plant – no

41. Shunda K, Yo Majesty – no

42. Tom Vain – S.C.U.M. – no

43. Karen O, Yeah Yeah Yeahs – remember when every girl in an indie club was dressed like this broad? Heady, heady times.

44. Gruff Rhys, Neon Neon – no

45. Brian Fallon, The Gaslight Anthem – no

46. Matt Bellamy, Muse – no

47. Eva Spence, Rolo Tomassi – no

48. Lethal Bizzle – no

49. Carl Barat – no

50. Jon McClure, Reverend & The Makers – get tae fuck

Do we really need to do this? Really? Lethal Bizzle? That dude from the Super Furry Animals? Lovefoxx from cabaret-act-for-oligarchs shitehawks CSS? No, we don’t need to do this, we can just leave it with the thought that an indie magazine praising Jay-Z’s coolness and “mega-stardom” in 2008 is the equivalent of XXL deciding to cover indie by putting Fran Healey on the cover.

Funnily enough, the NME aren’t letting you comment unless your views are seen by a moderator on their site currently, so feel free to use the box here to go “Conor Mack please go away”.

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