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Wiley: keyboard warrior

Internet message boards are solely for bored office workers. People who had a #2 single just four months ago really shouldn’t be touching them. They should especially stay clear if, despite ostensibly being male, they started bleeding heavily from the crotch the moment they sent fingers to keyboard.

So let’s all show some love to Wiley, who’s been getting his l33t on over at the RWD message boards these past few days. Actually, before we go further we gotta celebrate the fact that RWD had a website in the first place, so you can now completely ignore it in online form as well as in print. Regardless of that, let’s enjoy some of the musings of the Emo Eski over the past few days:

In simplified form: Wiley has left/been dropped from his record label, and feels that the internet should know about this in full detail. So he starts off with the following Bebo-esque missive:

i laugh cos money aint the problem.The problem is when some1 thinks they can mould you into something not understanding 1 day you will wake up and notice.asylum didnt deserve me the pricks

I can only assume that Asylum were trying to “mould” Slick Wiley into “a rapper that actually sells some fucking records”, seeing as “Wearing My Rolex” was only Wiley’s second ever top 40 single and the previous one was four years ago. Anyway, so the man was trying to get him down, better to burn out than fade away, blah blah blah…
my deal was 200,000 i got 100,000 upfront paid manager and lawyer 25,000 between em.so i go to make the album and the manager turns out to be a producer safe.then all of a sudden we have an album that i aint even made a beat on jus cos i was tryna jus listen to what im told to do.jus b4 we deliver the record my lawyer has let me know sumthing i didnt know the recording budget is now coming out of my advance i didnt moan but when he told me that the costs were meant to be 20k but now they are 50 grand and still goin i said na every1 **** off cos i was looking at the 200,000 and this jus 1 situation that went on so you can imagine how i feel towards the label and the manager.let me walk people im a music boy im not tryna be famous anymore i jus want music money
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SPEND 50K ON BEATS FOR A FUCKING GRIME ALBUM? You could probably buy every single beat that’s been used on a Channel U track over the past five years for fiddy grand, and you’d still have enough left over to splurge at Nando’s. Also, the extent of my involvement in the recording industry is beating my ex-flatmate at Singtar: Rock Anthems, and even I know that RECORDING COSTS FOR THE ALBUM COME OUT OF YOUR ADVANCE.
Still, you ain’t gotta worry about ol’ Wiley:
i have to remind every1 i had my bikes car chain and watch and all that b4 this album deal so i didnt need to sign this deal really but i got pressured into it by my manager obviously he jus wanted money and i signed knowing i was gonna end up flipping cos it wasnt me it was what asylum wanted me to be which was never gonna work
He’s got two bikes, a car, a chain and a watch! Which are all presumably now being handed over the counter of his local Cash Converters, but still. Apparently Wiley’s plans for the future involve “buying a whole lot of crap” and presumably then “appearing on an MTV reality show”. Hopefully Totally Wiley won’t “mould” him into something he isn’t.
He doesn’t stop though. He then goes on to start a second thread with the following logistical drop:
you know why cos i do music and the labels try an turn you into something your not thats why i jus walk **** every1 and ur opinions and thoughts
Apparently nowadays even the red cap gets a rap from these critics. He follows up the expected response (mainly “lol u got dropped”) with:
na fam this aint funny you listen to me when i speak or you will get a clip round the ear
a) no, trust me Willy this is hilarious
b) a “clip around the ear”? Who the fuck are you, Dennis the Menace’s dad? Are you gonna take down MCs with a slipper as well?
So yeah. Wiley. At one point brave spokesman for exciting new musical genre nobody except basement dwelling American music critics actually gave a shit about, now tearing up a bulletin board near you.
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