Honeysuckle full of poison, she obliterate everything she kiss

Hey, remember classic ILB knowledge-drop “How the internet ruined Slaughterhouse for me“, in which I noted that the Twitter antics of Joe, Joey, Royce and the other one were lowering them in my estimation? Well….

The disinterested ILB end of year rundown: #13 Royce Da 5’9 – Shake This

Bristol’s Shake King is probably the best milkshake bar in the UK, their Kinder Bueno shake in particular is a treat. The problem with S’Blended in Westfield Shopping Centre is that they seem to use the king of vanilla ice cream that usually finds its way into Iceland arctic rolls as a base for its shakes,whereas Shakeaway may not come close to those two in terms of quality of drink, but it does get bonus points for its “CELEBRITIES WHO HAVE VISITED US” section of its website, featuring Saskia the Big Brother Racist, 2008 Kerrang readers poll “Worst Band In The World” winners Bring Me The Horizon (BMTH fact: their lead singer has a “hip hop” side project called “Womb 2 Da Tomb”), and Brian McBride.

How the internet ruined Slaughterhouse for me

So for the past 15 months, for the first time in my career, I’ve been regularly discussing football at work with colleagues who support the “big” teams (for the purposes of this argument, a “big” team is any one that has more prestige, history or fanbase than, say, Plymouth Argyle. High standards, I know). And you talk to these champagne charlies, and you realise they’ve missed out on a lot from not following football at the sharp end. You miss out on local radio personalities hosting the half-time raffle while a crowd of 3,912 vocally questions their sexuality. You miss out on all that time you spend pestering your mates who went to legal school for what the various stages of administration are, and at which one you become 100% fucked. You miss out on the amount of fag ash they include in the hotdogs at the Kassam Stadium. And you miss out on the chance to drink in the same bars as your squad’s first time.

Royce Da 5’9 – Part Of Me

 

If I was the worst kind of blogtard I’d say something like “Hat tip to deej from So Many Shrimp” on this one, but while I did first hear about this track from there I didn’t actually listen to it until it came up while I was scouting Youtube for lesbian nurse cosplay.

2008: the year in Royce Da 5’9″ tracks

 

Other celebrities who also hit the height chart at five foot nine inches include Never the Twain big don Windsor Davies, every indie girl who’s “curious about S&M”’s favourite actress Maggie Gyllenhall, and motherfucking Joe Pantoliano. Gillingham goalkeeper Simon Royce, pictured above, is 6’2”, removing the chance of an easy headline for hip-hop-inclined sub-editors on Essex sports newspapers. I don’t think I actively gave a shit about any musician as much as Royce Da 5’9” last year, and yet I never wrote a word over him. Here’s his ten best tracks from 2008.