Behold Hermione, Little Miss Poundbury

(video posted because 99.9% of you won’t understand the title)

22 days ago today. I’d visited my parents’ for lunch, was feeling kinda veal Milanese’d out, and rather than sit it off via watching yet another fuck-awful Palermo performance under Serse Cosmi, I thought I’d dick about on the internet for a bit instead. And while I was online, one of our connex sent us a link to this piece of mediocre Guardian idiocy and I thought, “Meh, nothing better to do, set phasers to ‘zing’”. The piece took us maybe 45 minutes, nothing more.

This is what happens when you let people with names like “Hermione Hoby” write newspaper articles

For those of us who’ve spent any time remotely close to the real world, being told to go and produce 1,500 words on The Strokes in 2011 is a bit like being asked to provide a form sheet for Al Gore’s chance of becoming the next president, or writing up a piece on why Ashley Judd is Hollywood’s next golden girl. Thankfully Guardian journalists have never encountered the real world.