Home > In Celebration Of > The best of Dirty Bieber Secrets

The best of Dirty Bieber Secrets

You gotta hand it to 15-year-old girls: they’ve got the Tumblr game on fucking lock. While American music writers use the platform to copy and paste pictures of A RAPPER standing next to AN INDIE MUSICIAN or sharing their fascinating opinions on patriarchal hegemony in the music of Brooks and Dunn, 15-year-old girls are out there dropping original content for days, sourcing the best memes and networking like motherfuckers.

How big is the forum ammo/gif folder on your PC? 300MB? 400MB? Like the old army adverts, don’t even apply. These girls have a gif for every single occasion, while you’re still holding your dick in your hand posting the same Citizen Kane clapping/Judge Judy pulling a funny face shit you’ve been doing for six months they’ve captured every single shrug, smile, tear and expression of shock from the past two seasons of “Glee” and “True Blood”. And they’re communicating in it.

Doesn’t it make you feel weak and emasculated to realize that everything a social media professional gets paid £30k a year for, some girl who probably still has to ask “so, wait, can I get pregnant if someone spooges in the hot tub?” does in her own free time? Without any concern? I gotta hand it to them

And you’ve gotta hand it to Dirty Bieber Secrets as well, the hit new Tumblr blog for said 15-year-old girls violent sexual fantasies about human meme and occasional pop star Justin “J-Biebs” Bieber. And we here at ILB are always happy to discuss and share content from the internet’s hottest resources, so without further ado, we here at ILB would like to present: Dirty Bieber Secrets greatest hits.

Of course, these could all be by gay paedophiles.

 

  1. September 9, 2011 at 4:23 am

    These are really disturbing things, especially since they’re from young teenagers, in my opinion.

    All I have to say: these kids sure do have an interesting mindset — especially on their fantasies as being “Beliebers”.

    Why would you even want to be raped by your teen idol in the first place??

    • maggie
      September 25, 2011 at 9:48 pm

      technically it wouldnt be rape. cause they’d like it. (; haha. jk

  2. Amanda
    September 9, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    hahahaahh to be honest, im sure most of these are either dirty old men, or teenagers who wanna say the most fucked up thing possible and see if itll get put on the site. im pretty damn sure that hardly any are actual “beliebers”.

    • Autumn
      October 31, 2011 at 3:38 am

      No. They aren’t Beliebers. These are trolled ones. The really gross ones that honestly makes you want to puke. The belieber ones are the romantic ones. Not like this.

      • Alyssa. R
        May 26, 2012 at 6:28 am

        I am a belieber. i have a romantic story too. i would say…but there is already too many haters out there.

  3. December 3, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    WTF

  4. December 18, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    i want justin to fuck me hard…….jk

  5. ihatejustinbieber
    December 23, 2011 at 3:35 am

    People are so disgusting. I honestly think people are messed up so EWWW

  6. Kapresha Newaniesha
    December 24, 2011 at 12:23 am

    Eeewwwwhhh

    • Ok with him
      December 31, 2011 at 11:13 am

      I don’t really like beiber as bad as the people who want him to have sex with them but Ii do think that props went a little overboard with this sex stuff

  7. TheSpark717
    December 27, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    wow, I must say this is pretty sad. These 15 year old (and possibly older) rejects spewing their random sexual fantasies involving our favorite dousche bag friend. So, I’ll lay off the justin bieber jokes for a while, knowing he has to read these death threats for the rest of his life. -_-

  8. cassy
    February 7, 2012 at 5:09 am

    OMG…..awesome…..

  9. February 16, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    justin will never fock non of u bitches so keep dreaming and get your facks rite ok

    • Angel
      March 24, 2012 at 2:16 am

      Get you grammer right first bitch

  10. aniya
    February 22, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    i hate you . do you think it is right to do this well i dont . leave the boy alone if you dont i will report this website to the cops.

    • February 29, 2012 at 12:24 am

      did you even read the whole article? you’re an idiot.

    • john
      March 5, 2012 at 9:35 am

      1-800-internetpolice

  11. manar
    March 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Ew.

  12. Alexis
    March 25, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Ew. Considering this might’ve been written by, by a guy it makes me 50% MORE GROSSED OUT!That’s just nasty stuff D: but I think it’s back now cuz justin’s 18 ._. IDK actually.Maybe it’s just a rumor..

  13. Testrel
    March 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    That boy need some man love!

    An I wants to give it to him!

    T.

  14. lobuscus
    April 4, 2012 at 12:03 am

    i just read them cuz there funny

  15. Alyssa. R
    May 26, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Ok i will tell mah story. I’m ashamed tho… So i am crying at the back of one of his concerts and he comes over and asks whats wrong. My bf had left me at the concert alone and said i was a bad gf. So J.B tells me its ok and picks me up off the ground. He sees the scars on my arms and asks if my ex bf cut me. I tell him no and say it was me, cuz i cut. He would wonder why, but he wouldnt ask. Then J.B would take me back stage to cool off. I would calm down and lay my head on his lap. Then he would adjust so he could hold my hand. he would tell me it was ok one last time and he would kiss me. I would melt into his kiss. Then i would gently press my knee up against his cock and he would moan a little and giggle. you decide from there…

  16. June 22, 2012 at 3:26 am

    It’s odd to me because I am nearly as large as him. So I started asking myself whyisn’t therea wish-list website where somebody can buy you something but theywil not know what size you wear. Does anyone know of anyone who offers that service.

  17. STEPHANIE MYER
    July 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    I WANT TO SNIFF JUSTINS BALLS THEN PUT ONE ON EACH EYESOCKET AND THEN JACK HIM OFF INTO MY FOOT AND THEN WITH CREAM NIPPLES CUT HIS JIZZ EVERYWHERE THEN PUT IT MY OUTH AND EVERYWHERE THEN WHEN I WANT TO NO I AM NOT JUSTIN LEAVE ME TEN WE WILL HAVE RABID BABES AND SEXY TIME WITH A TACO :3

  18. July 22, 2012 at 6:48 am

    disgusting

  19. Cole
    July 28, 2012 at 2:48 am

    I wanna get his lookie mundoobler on my man boobs and chookie his stoom bubbler until he makes me grooble!

    Fantastic image!

    Cole

  20. Senator Mark Foley
    July 28, 2012 at 3:02 am

    As a former politician I find it disgusting that people would make comments such as these, but then again, I found myself eroused by the thought of this young, aspiring musician ejaculating over the bass player’s guitar case whilst girating, and then wiping his sweaty brow with a napkin he’s stolen from a five star hotel. Call me old fashioned, but I believe that laws need to be changed, and men like myself need to be able to feel the warmth of a boy, as is our right under the constitution.

    Rep. Mark Foley.

  1. September 9, 2011 at 9:33 am
  2. October 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm

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