Here is Benny Hill’s impression of Bob Dylan

Presented without comment.

How 4Music made me increasingly aware of my own mortality

Cheap ‘n’ cheerful landfill music video station “4Music” is currently in the middle of a series of themed programming based around the Royal Wedding. This strikes me as the kind of idea that was okayed in a meeting of top brass somewhere and then left to the interns to work out the problems with the technicalities of it all. The main problem is that there is absolutely no connection between what happens in the build up to a Royal Wedding and the day-to-day content of a music video station, unless we suddenly find out that Kate Middleton used to be the drummer in Love Bites, or Prince William finally gets around to that “TOP 50 INDIE FLOORFILLERS” article he’s been sitting on.

I really have no interest in the 30 day song challenge

Is it too soon to have nostalgia for the “25 Random Things About Me” craze of 2008? Being as it was around the time Facebook became ever-present in our lives it managed to get itself a little bit of mainstream media coverage. Its spiritual successor, the “30 Day Song Challenge”, appears to be getting no similar love though. Which is weird, because if I was a spiritually bankrupt editor of a broadsheet newspaper music section right now I’d be asking every single buzzband musician offered to me to fill those 30 songs in and making it part of our Friday supplement right now.

To hell with you all. I am what I am.

Hi there, did anyone ask for a Detroit housepop cover version of “The Hurricane” by Bob Dylan sung by a guy with a German voice? Of course you did.

ILB spotters’ guide to inane platitude Twitter accounts

Every now and then ILB will get commission from elsewhere to drop a guest post that turns out to be a “little too real” for them or “contains too many references to former ECW midcarders” or “has a joke about raping a minor feminist cultural commentator in it” so they just drop me a kill-fee that I end up spunking down Shakeaway (Turkish Delight and peanut butter 4life, bb). Anyway rather than ship it elsewhere, here’s an example of it for my ILB bredders.

John Doran and the art of staying losing

My rapheads should probably hit the “x” in the top right-hand corner of their screen right now, or else go and check out Complex’s “TOP 50 SNEAKER MOMENTS IN THE VATICAN ENCLAVE OF 2005” instead as we’re going to spend the next 400 words chatting about indiefag matters.

For the rest of you, however….

Jehst isn’t a postman

So a few months ago this video was bouncing around UK “urban” “music” forums and Twitter, depicting one-time minor hope of UK hip-hop Jehst being surreptitiously filmed working as a postman. This resulted in “bare jokes” on internet message boards, because obviously most UK rappers are in a higher rate tax bracket and can afford to buy mid-table Championship football teams with their yearly income so a video of Jehst having a second job was cause for giggles.

Wrestlemania XXVII quasi-liveblog a day late

Bish Mi Allah Rak Mana Rahima! Hum Dillelah Iribel Al Amin! We gettin’ Caroline Cheese money! We gettin’ Guardian liveblog money! We gettin’ whichever interns they get to do the liveblogging on ITV.com’s World Cup coverage money! (just refresh every minute or so, we have no idea how Liveblogging is meant to work)