Dude from OMC: you’re dead

You were a Maori who had the first post-”Odelay” crossover pop hit and according to Wikipedia a decade later you did a song with Lucy Lawless, and now you’re dead. Sleep tight sweet prince, hope they have elephants and tigers and acrobats in the afterlife.

Sean of the Braindead

Seriously,we have nothing specifically against Sean Adams: we’ve met him and he appears to be a sound guy. But he quite clearly is an utter fucking moron, or else he wouldn’t have his own category.

Why is the BBC telling me this?

There’s a certain symmetry between the British left and the BBC (no shit, huh?). You spend so much of your time defending both of them from brickbats delivered by thrusting Thatcherites and godless-in-both-senses-of-the-word Randians and random Americans who have for some reason decided to take a massive interest in the goings-on of a country halfway across the world and with a quarter of its population, that you never stop to think “Wait… what the fuck am I actually standing up for here”?

In memoriam: @alanjmcgee briefly being an entertaining page on Twitter

I do love how that bone cancer patient lookin’ boy has just oh-so-casually got a bottle of Highland Spring dead centre of his profile there, as if he just needed to remind people that he was Scottish and wasn’t sure if some tiffin and a bag of heroin would show up in photos taken with a flash. Anyway, Alan McGee was a man from the 90s who was responsible for some bad music and is now an “industry figure” who exists mainly to cosign bullshit like The Holloways and occasionally turns up in The Guardian’s music section claiming that some random recently deceased British music figure was “the original punk rocker”. Big Al also maintained a Twitter account which, until this week, nobody had absolutely any reason to follow unless you were one of those weird fucks who will follow any “industry” “figure” regardless of if you like them or care for what they say (also, shitmydadsays isn’t funny. Just want to throw that out there). However, for one solitary week, he became entertaining.

Ich Luge Bullets 2009: Our year in lists Part #2

You want part two of a rundown of the most read ILB posts of the past year? We’ll give you part two of a rundown of the most read ILB posts of the past year:

Ich Luge Bullets 2009: Our year in lists Part #1

I’m as stunned as you are. Ich Luge Bullets, more out of blind luck and the fact that we can’t afford a PS3 to occupy our time than by design, has made it through to its second year. I’d like to say we couldn’t have done it without you, our loyal readers, but to be fair you haven’t really done anything for me. That talentless cunt that draws The Oatmeal probably gets hella Paypal payments winging their way into his Dorito-crumb encrusted pockets, and the most I’ve got from you is… zero? Depends whether that dude we ripped off for pizza has started self-googling yet.

Anyway, one of my favourite ever pieces of ILB writing was our 2008 review in which we counted down the 20 most read ILB posts of the previous year. And why fuck with the classics? We hereby present to you part 1 of the 20 pieces of Passantino script that had you kids on the internet going “lol” and blithely pressing “thumbs up” on Stumbleupon, to no visible effect on our hit rates.

Los Campesinos have made a video for “Romance Is Boring”

Big Dave Meltzer would probably criticise the lack of psychology in the luchador’s appearance, but we fucks with this hard. The inevitable 3,000 word-long ILB review of the album is gonna be coming at some point soon kids. Keep ‘em peeled.

In celebration of: Tom Gair

i dunno if you’re supposed to be taking the piss, but your review of Theo London’s mixtape was a fucking travesty. sort yourself, i ent saying its really a good album, but some of your comments were just downright hateful. noticed most of your bad reviews are attributed with those people who aint white too, nice one, oh sorry you not liek black people commenting on your page?

Oh man, you motherfuckers never learn

Honeysuckle full of poison, she obliterate everything she kiss

Hey, remember classic ILB knowledge-drop “How the internet ruined Slaughterhouse for me“, in which I noted that the Twitter antics of Joe, Joey, Royce and the other one were lowering them in my estimation? Well….

Yeah, Yelawolf isn’t that bad I suppose

Yeah, I know this is the point where I’m supposed to be all cute and go “late pass you guys”, but fuck that we’ve been on the grind recently. And we also managed to fit in some time to listen to the pop hits of 2009 as well, so we wouldn’t feel like the past 12 months were a final confirmation that our life as a productive contributor to popular culture was over.