The disinterested ILB end of year rundown: #13 Royce Da 5'9 - Shake This

Bristol’s Shake King is probably the best milkshake bar in the UK, their Kinder Bueno shake in particular is a treat. The problem with S’Blended in Westfield Shopping Centre is that they seem to use the king of vanilla ice cream that usually finds its way into Iceland arctic rolls as a base for its shakes,whereas Shakeaway may not come close to those two in terms of quality of drink, but it does get bonus points for its “CELEBRITIES WHO HAVE VISITED US” section of its website, featuring Saskia the Big Brother Racist, 2008 Kerrang readers poll “Worst Band In The World” winners Bring Me The Horizon (BMTH fact: their lead singer has a “hip hop” side project called “Womb 2 Da Tomb”), and Brian McBride.

The whole point of the disinterested year-end rundown is that nobody is back in their office yet, so blogs really cease to matter for a few weeks. What, you’re gonna read this shit in your downtime? Course you’re not, you’re still working your way through Xmas’s turkish delight (doesn’t turn to a milkshake well) or Matchmakers (these do, though). “Shake This” in brief though: bitchmade emo rap only works when it’s a rapper who, to this point, hasn’t menstruated over the mic for a career. Royce shows a little emotion, it becomes affecting, and then back on the next track it’s gun-ownership punchlines and going “BLAOW” again. Good rap music should be like a sitcom: nobody should learn anything at the end of each episode.