IchLugeBullets’ Singles Club: The Indelicates – Unity Mitford

The Indelicates’ debut album, “American Demo”, is one of ILB’s top 20 LPs of the decade. We get the feeling nobody else likes them, being as they are basically two trolls, one of whom wants to be Luke Haines and the other one who looks like the chick who does the “Real Life Photo Drama” spoofs in Viz. But we hold them very close to our hearts here at ILB.

Your brief guide to “This Will Be Our Year”

The Zombies – This Will Be Our Year

I never mentioned this at the time, but I always thought that maybe… 2% of the Arctic Monkeys’ success was down to the fact they had the word “monkey” in their name. They were shooting for a 6th forum/uni student market, so what better way to appeal to them than to throw a “lol random” buzzword in there? If I wanted to make megabucks right now from a band, they would have the word “ninja”, “pirate” or “cheese” in their name. I don’t know if The Zombies have made any extra money out of the 36-month craze for all things zombiefied amongst cretins (maybe horrorpunk bands are finally cashing in on that? Someone check Wednesday13′s shareholdings), but then I suppose they make enough from playing ATPs and shit like that? Is that undignified for a band of their age? Just makes me think of when you go and see a gig and there’s some 55-year-old going ham at the front and all you can consider is “Why aren’t you at home with a wife and child who love you dearly?”. Good song, mind.

Critical discourse pt 2

More to the point, judging by its output in recent years, it’s become a deadening force: as a listening experience, but also as something that maintains a deadlock on the musical imagination (and personal ambitions) of Black American youth. I doubt very much that this demographic has no more surprises up its sleeves in terms of sound and style, judging by past form(s) (jazz, rhythm and blues, funk, house, et al ). But that New Thing won’t come until they tire of hip-hop themselves and turn against it.

Passantinos (Passantini?) on YouTube: a potted history

Dear Dom Passantino,
I found you on the web, you seem to be a blogger and music writer.
Maybe we are distant cousins?
Anyway, I thought I would humbly ask you to check out the music of
me and my brother.
My trippy music is at http://www.sprucesap.com
and we make Passantino-style hiphop at:
http://www.myspace.com/uncledirtyandthejaguar

Please let me know what you think!
Thanks for your time.
Best Regards,
Phil Passantino
Garfield, NJ

We were sent this email 18 months ago, but could never be bothered to do anything with it. However, nothing says “building a brand” more than repeatedly mentioning your surname over the course of a filler-filled blogpost. So while Big City Philpassantino doesn’t get owt from us, here are some other classic Passantino moments on Youtube, thankfully not include that one time I did “On A Ragga Tip” at karaoke.

Heavens to Etsy: She’s crafty, she gets around

Etsy is one of the few online properties to see its hit figures skewed more than 2:1 in favour of female visitors. It’s also one of the truly great inventions of the past decade. Rather than go out and spend £50 in an actual shop where items are made to some guarantee of quality for your missus’ Christmas present, all you now need to do is just type some proper nouns she njoys into Etsy’s search engine and bada bing, she’s now the proud recipient of a £3.99 John Barrowman bottle opener, or a knitting pattern for a tea cosy depicting Diane and Lloyd from “Say Anything”.

Anyway, being as rap fans don’t actually buy the CDs of any of the musicians they spend all their time talking about, they have a lot of disposable income. The Etsy crowd has belatedly twigged onto that and is now seeking a slice of that cashed-up pie. Here’s ten of the finest examples of this. It’s like a fucking Cracked.com post or something.

Paul Merson’s moustache

As said before, we’re working on something else at the moment, so we weren’t going to post today, but… what the fuck is this? I know it’s Movember, but personally I’d be happy to die of testicular cancer if it meant never having to look at this monstrosity again. It’s like a cross between a Wrestlemani XIX era Triple H and the dead one from the Village People. Fuck me.

Notes from the world of blogging…

We’re working on another one of our award-winning articles about, idk, the state of the British music journalism industry or some Mid-West lyrical cat rapper that only six people actually care about at the moment, but we thought we’d just interrupt your Google Reader profile to let you know that over the past two hours we’ve seen at least 30 hits for this site for people searching for “Sarah Boden”, “Sarah Boden Observer Music Monthly” and, my personal favourite, “Sarah Boden Cunt”. Could someone be self-googling? Or does she just have a particularly ill-skilled stalker? We’ll keep you informed here at ILB.

Always wondered how that little lad’s career was going to cope after Mike Jack rolled a seven. Sarah, can you phone up some of the peeps in your contact book and let us know? It’s not as if you have an actual job to occupy your time any more, huh?

IPC journalists of the late 90s: where are they now?

Stephen Gateley was only the second person, after Tammy Wynette, to have appeared on the 1997 BBC advertising gimmick/charity single “Perfect Day” to have died. Considering this advert featured perrenial dead pool longlisters Shane McGowan, Dr John and Burning Spear, that strikes me as a little weird. Here’s what some of the hacks of around that era are up to now:

Post-midnight Youtube filler: Generation X – Dancing With Myself (#61, June 1981)

JaredandWilliam (2 hours ago) Show Hide
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this is jared not willima comenting but i love this song every says that its clasical music well it is a clasic it is awesome just don’t realy like the video oh and check out our chanel we don’t have any videos yet but when we do check em out

RA The Rugged Man – Boxing Freestyle

RA The Rugged Man has a new album out. You should buy it. RA The Rugged Man likes the boxing. You should listen to him talk about it. RA The Rugged Man has a new freestyle out running down the last 100 years of race-baiting sports events featuring dudes getting cranial trauma. You should listen to it here. Bonus points for sonning Prince Naseem, very little is more depressing than when they interview “old legends” at British boxing events on TV these days and Naz is is turning up looking like an inflated O2 phone store deputy manager.