ILB reading list, 05/07/09
We here at ILB recently had our favourite ever comment, and considering that takes in the glory days of Claude Carpentieri’s antics, that’s some compliment. We made a brief reference to Harringay’s “Murder Mile” on this little piece of script, and were rewarded with none other than “Hugh” of harringayonline.com post to let us know that the area is “lovely now”. Presumably the entirety of London’s wholesale heroin trade has now moved to Queensway or Harrow-On-The-Hill.
It’s quite nice to imagine Hugh as the Web Sheriff of guncrime-heavy NW London locales though, a man who spends his day typing up endless direct messages to Sway on Twitter going “You know, you should probably do an anthem for your hometown, and maybe mention its wonderful new swimming baths as well?” To be totally honest, the Quinzo’s at Wood Green Shopping Centre is long gone, so fuck Harringay.
Anyway, we actually had some more messages recently, from none other than NME hack James McMahon who we engaged in some recreational boying of here. Hilariously enough though, Aksimet termed them as spam, and I accidentally deleted them. They basically said “Dude! Dude! Duuuudddeee!!!!!”. Pro-tip for journalists out there: if you think I’m a good writer, mention me to your fucking commissioning editor so I can have stacks in my pocket rather than just crumpled up Betfred receipts. Otherwise, stfu. Jimmy also had a post on his blog that has been since deleted, which garnered TWO whole extra hits to ILB, one of which, if the origin URL of the Facebook page it came from makes sense to me, was from his mother. Let it not be said that I’m sooooooooo fucking happy my mother has no idea how to use Google for anything other than printing of Antonio Carluccio recipes, as the last thing I need in my life is a phonecall going “Domenico, who is “bigtool4u“, and what is “douche”? Are you doing drugs? Are you OK? You want some arborio rice in the post, we’ve got loads here.”
Anyway, so James McMahon ain’t driving traffic here, despite the fact that I sent about 50 extra hits his way gratis. Here’s some blogs that I actually like and enjoy reading that you should visit asap.
If Charlie Parker Was A Gunslinger, There’d Be A Whole Lot of Dead Copycats: For prissy Amerophiles like myself who still retain a hardon for some aspects of 1960s British culture (ie, my eventual gameplan is to be 45% Cary Grant, 45% Dean Martin, 10% Dave Allen), this shit is manna. Five pictures a day, that’s all you need. Lou Donaldson staring at an ass. Jack Dempsey wearing a monocle. Richard Nixon walks up a ladder. And Dave motherfucking Allen. I can only hope my generation is capable of producing cultural figures who look as good staring vacantly in black and white, and although Spencer Pratt telling us that the Jews did 9/11 is appreciated, it’s probably a step in the wrong direction.
Bunny Bissoux: Self-consciously quirky minus listening to indie music minus being Scandanavian = a good look, imo. When you add that to drawings of 80s southern fried wrasslin’ tag-teams and a guide to hair metal album covers, you have what would be 100% girlfriend material, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m only sleeping with Pakistanis girls with a BMI of between 28 and 31 these days.
Run of Play: I feel like a bit of a carny for even linking to this, as its pretty fucking famous within its field and anyone outside of its field will get zero from it, but… Run of Play is the best football blog out there (or at least it is on the days that Two Hundred Percent isn’t doing its Shit Shot Mungo strips), partly for its series of fan-fiction write-ups of the guy that runs it’s FM2009 career with Pro Vercelli, partly because it can get away with writing stuff like this paean to Paolo Maldini without writing “n/h” after any of the sentences.
The Churn: Relive the experience of clicking every single link on 2 Dope Boyz and going “Wow, rap music fucking sucks this week”, except for British indie music, so you didn’t actually expect it to be of any use in the first place.
The Martorialist: Kinda like Imagechan with the racism replaced by pretty sound rap opinions4u, plus it’s the #3 match on Google Image Search for “Dobby Peep Show”. I can only fucking dream of that position.
Pay Tray: If Vibe had had this as #1 on their Top 50 rap blogs list, they’d still be going right now. Simple as.