Archive for January, 2009

Contractual Obligations #3: New Year Edition

January 10, 2009 Leave a comment


Admit it: you’re all holding out on developing a full-time opinion on Little Boots until you know where she stands on the Gaza Conflict. We all are. It’s been a fortnight where every manjack on the big boy publications has been eagerly copy-and-pasting words out of press release so you know who’s gonna be big in 2009. The answer: 7000 female solo acts with some fucking folk influence and 217 bands that sound like The Editors. It’s gonna be a classic year.

But you know IchLugeBullets sees through the bullshit. You know we can sift through the PR lies and bring you the that real. So give it up for the first Contractual Obligations of 2009. Read more…

Top 10 comments posted underneath a YouTube video featuring a slideshow of magazine covers set to Mitch Miller’s “The Yellow Rose of Texas”

A brief moment’s celebration if you will: Claude Carpentieri has made like Roberto Duran and shouted out “No mas, no mas!”. As of around midnight yesterday, all reference to IchLugeBullets and it’s chirpy chappy editor have been wiped off “Hegley Road To Ladywood” or whateverthefuck it was called, and instead been replaced with our Claude agreeing with Yasmin Alibhai-Brown that the white working classes are the most disgusting savages on the planet. He’s a charmed that kid.

Anyway, how better to celebrate this throwing in of the towel than by heading over to popular video-sharing website “YouTube” and cutting a rug to the first ever number one to take place in the rock’n’roll era (ie, the first Billboard topper after “Rock Around The Clock”) “The Yellow Rose of Texas” by Mitch Miller? Read more…

Lucha Britannia: Reverse Armdrags Fund Terrorism

January 7, 2009 2 comments


These are heady fucking times for Between the Claudebeef, posting a shit tonne of Royce Da 5’9” MP3s, our self-link heavy year-end round-ups, and an article pointing out that I went to school with one whole individual who went on to make a semi-useful contribution to society in life, we’re currently in the middle of the most successful period of our existence, in terms of hits, comments and high-end content. So let’s ruin all that by taking two days off posting and then coming back with a treatise on ethnic misappropriation, pro-wrestling and post-roller derby culture.

Read more…

The posts that celebrate themselves: Scouting for Girls – Scouting For Girls


So turns out ILB has developed itself another enemy, and there’ll be a post on the topic tomorrow… we were going to write it up today but, and this is some high-end excusery right here, we were delayed an extra two hours at our scrabble game this evening due to cancellations, and I fucked up my last game by not realising I could have played either “maziness” or “mestizas” to go out on my final move. Anyway, whatever. In the latest in an occasional series of the finest pieces of my writing that never got the full-scale (read: non-shut-in aspie british indie kid) audience they deserves, we hereby present to you another classic Passantino review: Scouting for Girl’s S-T debut album, from September 2007. It also includes a fantastic diversion into the concept of Mondeo Pop, in response to which we got our only ever e-mail from Simon Reynolds for. He admitted that “Mary’s Prayer” is a much better song than he gave it credit for in 87. Read more…

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Post-Midnight YouTube filler: Wideboys ft Dennis G – Sambuca (#15, October 2001)

January 5, 2009 1 comment


d4914l (1 year ago) Hide  -7    Reply | Spam

ive got their msn!!!!!!!!!!!!! seroiusly no joke.. they cum and play in club vibe alot down sheff Read more…

2008: the year in Royce Da 5’9″ tracks

January 4, 2009 7 comments



Other celebrities who also hit the height chart at five foot nine inches include Never the Twain big don Windsor Davies, every indie girl who’s “curious about S&M”’s favourite actress Maggie Gyllenhall, and motherfucking Joe Pantoliano. Gillingham goalkeeper Simon Royce, pictured above, is 6’2”, removing the chance of an easy headline for hip-hop-inclined sub-editors on Essex sports newspapers. I don’t think I actively gave a shit about any musician as much as Royce Da 5’9” last year, and yet I never wrote a word over him. Here’s his ten best tracks from 2008. Read more…

IchLugeBullets: six months that changed a year (part two)

January 3, 2009 5 comments

The second part of our meta-heavy rundown of ILB’s top 20 most viewed posts of the past 12 months. Read more…

IchLugeBullets: six months that changed a year (part one)

January 2, 2009 3 comments


We made it to the end of the year. I’m as shocked as you are, especially as at least three times out of ten, when I go to log onto WordPress I have to put up with this walrus-lookin’ motherfucker staring back at me from the home page. I have no idea who he is, or what his blog contains, but he looks like the disgraced mayor from an 80s slapstick comedy. We don’t need him. Anyway, please enjoy the 20 most visited articles on ILB this year, along with a few reminisces from those who wrote them. Read more…

No more, Butchie. No more of this.

January 1, 2009 5 comments


This is starting to annoy me now. I’m getting distracted. For the past six months, has been your number one internet resource for the kind of indepth and detailed music reviews and opinions you’ve not seen since the triumphant three-issue run of X-Ray Magazine. I mean, I’ve been named “solo blog of the year” by some Croatians. Fun Croatian fact: Darijo Srna has a tattoo of a deer playing football on his thigh, and a brother with Down’s Syndyome.

But over the past few weeks, what with a Christmas malaise, we’d been a bit low on content. And then Claude Carpentieri happened. Read more…


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