Mixtape for your forthcoming rape

We’re not going to lie: every so often we here at ILB have an idea that doesn’t quite come off in the execution. We don’t research the idea properly, there’s not enough content to justify a blog post, or we end up playing four hours of online Scrabble while eating clementines instead. Our idea of visiting an online rape fetishist community to ask them for music recommendations would definitely fall into this category of “the road to WordPress hell is paved with good intentions”.

You have no friends in common

Usually, ILB’s incoming friend requests on Facebook tend to revolve around the “least interesting co-worker/some schmuck from a message board I post to/dude from school who has since turned into a white pride advocate.” But November 27, 2008 brings us a special treat.

In review: Brooklyn Academy – Bored of Education

 

Over the years I, and undoubtedly many of the rest of you, have gotten a lot of enjoyment from the Jay-Z lyric “revolve like the sun around the earth”, the Chamillionaire line “Always been about the horizontal lines through them S’s, that’s a dollar sign”, and the time when Cannibus said “I’m your worst nightmare squared/That’s double for niggaz who ain’t mathematically aware.” A lot more enjoyment than I’ve gotten from the rest of these guys’ careers, at least.

But they, Brooklyn Academy want to play this game as well

Scorzayzee – Casio Sweep

 

If you wanted to, you could probably break out a game of armchair pop culture psychology over “Casio Sweep” and wonder why, in the spirit of tunes like this, 50 Pence’s 2003 daytime radio cracker “In Da Pub”, and myriad other UK hiphop airtime fillers, British rappers seem to be so keen on the concept of taking the instrumental from a recent hit about ballin’ and then kicking verses about how broke-ass/gutter they are. You could think about whether this is endemic of an inferiority complex, and if so if that’s an inferiority complex UKHH has to American rap, or just a complex the UK has to America full stop. Alternately, you could consider it a deliberate marker of undergroundness: I refuse to go commercial to blow up like you did on this beat, and as a result I’m still checking the dented tins at the end of the Sainsbury’s aisle.

It’s “Titanes En El Ring” Sunday on IchLugeBullets.com!

Here is a Youtube video clip of a 1970s Argentinian wrestling match between a man dressed as Genghis Khan and a harried executive who repeatedly stops the match to take phone calls and dictate memos to his secretary, who is standing at ringside:

The clip comes from Titanes En El Ring, an Argentinian wrestling promotion that operated from the early 1960s to the late 1980s. Being as my hobbies, outside of beefing with 95% of the UK music fraternity and drinking Hendrick’s Gin, do include the pro-wrestling, and I spent three whole months as a freelance correspondant for PowerSlam Magazine before being fired after an argument about TNA midcarder “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal, I could try to educate you on this topic. However, the best piece of writing I’ve seen so far this year on any topic would be Dave Meltzer’s “Hall of Fame” bio of Kardagian which ran a few months back. Catch it in full after the jump, as well as a few other TEER clips

The triumphant return of Wiley the Keyboard Warrior

Could someone get Wiley a World of Warcraft subscription or membership to a furry porn website that publishes all its users personal log-in details? Anything that ensures he spends his time on the internet doing something less embarassing than broadcasting his thoughts on message boards. 

We’ve been here before. The man who Grimey Simey Reynolds once called, seemingly without any sense of irony, “the UK’s equivalent of Rakim, Chuck D, Ice Cube, Nas” seemingly doesn’t click “preview post” to see what utter inane self-clowning shit he’s posting before the submit button is pressed. Anyway, word to Consolevania we here at ILB have been “checkin’ the forums” with regards to the Rolex advocate to see what he’s been saying this week.

Today’s recommended reading

Being as it’s around the tenth anniversary of the release of Grim Fandango and you can go out and download a torrent of it in under 30 minutes these days, I have no idea why you’d be spending your evenings pissing about reading blogs. However, we here at ILB like to cater to all parties, so here’s a few pieces of script that have been quite literally read by us over the past few days.

ILB contemplates the obese vloggers #1: panacea81

Changing times for those of those of us here at IchLugeBullets, because today marked the time we dropped three stone from our starting weight, and all we had to do was put up with the increasingly creepy compliments of our personal trainer on our thighs and listen to “Like This, Like That” by Se:Sa 138 times over the past three months. But there’s problems here: this means we can upgrade to a better kind of partner than the “crazy fattey who feels the need to share her life with the internet” model we’ve been rolling with for the past… however many years it was since I was 16. Therefore, we here at ILB present the first in an occasional series highlighting some of the most important fat annoying women to have made an impact on YouTube, to the point they’ve been made a “YouTube partner”. That means they actually get paid to spread their inane bullshit to the internet. These people all earn more money than you. Anyway, enjoy:

Post-Midnight Youtube filler: Todd Rundgren – I Saw The Light (#36, June 1973)

 

dewcc7 (1 month ago)  +2    Reply

damn where did the time go.why dont they write songs like that anymore.damn.

Baby Got (Broken) Back

There’s something to be said for being ahead of the curve when it comes to buzzwords. Whether you wanna come across as an early adopter, a trendsetter, or an instigator; being the first person to holler out the phrase that pays usually brings some bonus credits. Usually.