In review: Hamfatter

Hamfatter sound like a beer advert from 1997. You know, late night shots of the big city, upscale party atmosphere, the sound of beer caps popping, and some awful generic alt.rock racket over the top of it. All the previews for this episode of Dragons’ Den were dropping Belle and Sebastian references like they were going out of date, but apparently the TV critics of this world appear to have confused B&S with, I don’t fucking know, Eve 6 or someone.
Bands shouldn’t have neckbeards. Bands shouldn’t have a brass section that turns up 3/4 of the way through the song and tramples all over it like Evan Davis at (deleted on legal advice). Bands shouldn’t have a fucking “business plan”, the whole shit makes me feel like David Gedge or Stephen Pastel must have done when Justine and Damon were on the cover of The Sun, a weird combination of defeated, reactionary, and “shit ain’t meant to be like this”.
Although, in fairness, Peter Jones getting shook at the idea that the band “might suddenly change their sound”, as if they were going to turn into X-Clan as soon as they got an advance, was pretty funny. Nearly as weird as the gypsy weasel dude who was serving as their spokesman asking for the “full experience of all three” of the Dragons, like a nervous boyfriend trying to suggest a threesome to his domineering girlfriend.
At the end of the day though, it’s embarrassing, especially for Peter Jones. This is straight-up mid life crisis for him, like the Guardian Arts section brought to life. Someone should ask him to invest in Ukranian nannies with boob jobs.
Also, James Caan needs to go away and be replaced by someone with charisma.