Dean Heslop – Say You’re Sorry

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Chris Brown, Marlon King and now DEAN HESLOP. Femanism surrender.

Merry Christmas!

Ju Ju & Bloody Moon – Punch You In The Face (MP3)

Soft Cell – Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

Remember classic aborted ILB series Novelty Cover Version week? The people who ensure we still get about 15 hits a week for search for photos of Richard Cheese certainly do.

I don’t really buy into Daisy Dares You

The lowest forms of human life, as I see them:

1. People on the internet talking about “Japanese honorifics”
2. Musicians on Twitter going “look, I made a year-end list!!!!”
3. Child rapists
4. Anyone who cares about the BBC’s “Sounds of…” poll

I honestly can’t bring myself to listen to any of the artists on their 2010 longlist, but one name confused me slightly…

Bing Crosby & Frank Sinatra – Well Did You Evah?

It’s 2009 and I still can’t get a decent Cole Porter compilation anywhere. All I want is a bunch of his songs done by a bunch of talented dead people from the 30s through to the 60s. What I don’t need is “John Barrowman Sings Cole Porter”.

Shots fired, parts one and two

I think there’s two reasons I’ve been more embraced by the rap blogging community than the indie one. The first is, obviously, my casual homophobia, misogyny and anti-semitism passing itself off as “edgy”comedy. The second is that I like to think I can do beef properly. In outlined examples, here’s how shots have been fired across the blogosphere in the past day:

A brief history of The Chart Show’s indie charts in the late 90s

If you can’t engage in pointless nostalgia at the end of a decade, when can you do it? Being as Heinz have fucked up the flavour of their tomato soup recently (either that or my tastebuds have become warped from too much time fucking with Covent Garden cartons), old compilations of adverts on Youtube have become the greatest comforter in my life. There is something strangely safe about being annoyed by those faux-Spike Lee Sprite adverts again, or hearing the Direct Line jingle before going “wait, aren’t those adverts still on?”, or enjoy Alan Shearer’s Emmy-winning turn in that one McDonalds advert. Anyway, while those are truly great, there is something to be said for the guys who’ve for some reason uploaded nearly every indie chart from The Chart Show throughout the 90s to Jewtube, wherein instead of being reminded of Schweppes Schizan and Cadbury’s Astros you can instead be reminded of yet another third-tier Britpop act. Fanastic. Here’s five of our favourites:

Afterlife lookalikes #2

Murdered schoolgirl Jodi Jones

Allegedly funny Youtube “personality” Nostalgia Chick

ws both, tbh.

SimonReynolds.net is your #1 spot for all your Simon Reynolds needs

Description:
I am a girl who needs a man. I am a romantic and passionate. I need serious relations. I need a man to love and take care of. I am a positive person. I always try to smile. Smile helps to live. This world is wonderful and colorful. I am a calm person. I am really very calm. I never shout and I do not like argues. What else can I add& my friends say I am a good friend and good adviser. I am a very communicative, and I always have a plenty of topics to discuss. May be that is why I have a lot of friends. I like sports and I like travelling. I adore being close to the nature, so I spend a lot of time outside. I lead active lifestyle. I am always on move. I like going to the cinema, to the theatre, I like just walking in the park. I like playing with my friends by the seaside. I like summer very much. I really adore summer. I like swimming and I like being active. I also like reading. Books are my good friends.

Ideal match description:
I am looking for a real man, strong and positive. I am looking for a soul mate, I am looking for a partner, I am looking for a best friend, I am looking for a man who prefers Ja Rule to 99% of other rappers and who published an old interview with Chuck D in his book “Bring the Noise” where the erstwhile Public Enemy frontman is on some “bitches need to shut the fuck up and get back in the kitchen” tip, and doesn’t bother to press him on this matter, but then goes and writes a book about how indie rock is misogynistic because, y’know, yeah.

IchLugeBullets’ Singles Club: The Indelicates – Unity Mitford

The Indelicates’ debut album, “American Demo”, is one of ILB’s top 20 LPs of the decade. We get the feeling nobody else likes them, being as they are basically two trolls, one of whom wants to be Luke Haines and the other one who looks like the chick who does the “Real Life Photo Drama” spoofs in Viz. But we hold them very close to our hearts here at ILB.